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SCE&G just announced a new plan of action. Number one, turn down your thermostat. Number two, bend over. Number, three take it like a ratepayer.

Sorry, Free Times, you have totally lost your street cred. Looks like the tail (advertising department) is wagging the dog (investigative journalism) and you are all fluff and spit now.  Where is City Paper when you need them?

More than 8 million tons of plastic enter our oceans each year. In other words, we are killing our oceans. One day there may be more plastic than fish in our oceans. Quit with the damned plastic and do it now!

I could fall off my chair laughing when the prez suggests we need more people from Norway in the U.S. People from Norway don't want to emigrate to our s#!thole country.

Just think if the money that has been spent on a pair of unfinished mothballed nuclear power generators had been directed to building a (Trump likes to call it a Wall) border fence. At least we would have something tangible. But no, we get a $9 billion hole in Fairfield County. Awesome.

Bubba, you have got to stop sucking d#!k. Try a D#!koderm Patch. Six inches of duct tape over the mouth.   

If you can read this you're NOT Donald Trump!

Thank you to the wonderful unknown lady that knitted me a pair of socks, hat and mittens and hung the bag on my door along with a nice note thanking me for my Vietnam service. You have made this cold winter much more bearable for this disabled vet. May you be well blessed!

Sorry, Fraendy and Dana, I've abandoned FOX. The tacky traffic kid can't zip her editorializing bright pink lips. 

It's flu season. Don't cough or sneeze on me.  You wash your hands and I'll wash mine. Thanks a ton. I've almost died from the flu twice already. 

I have a bona fide husband. To my surprise, when he retired he became boner-fied all the way. 

“They,” “them’ and “their” are the most misused words in the English language. 

Note to self while driving southbound on I-95 from South of the Border to just north of the I-20 turn-off: Perhaps we should suggest to the SCDOT that some of that increased gas tax money could be used to resurface this washboard roadway. It's an embarrassment to anyone who calls South Carolina home. 

Somebody alert the SEC, and I’m not talking about the Southeastern Conference, Jeff Sessions just shorted cannabis stocks.

Trump's an amazing hombre. After a grueling weekend of golf he still has enough stamina to play Lindsey Graham's back nine with his 3-wood.

Twitter, please help save the world. Ban DJT.

Jeers to the shoppers who pull items off the shelf and dump them in another department. If you change your mind and you do not need the item anymore, please bring the item to the register and they will gladly take the item from you.

I’ll bet you that, if the South had successfully seceded back during the Civil War that it would have long ago been begging to get back into the Union.

Yeah, my friend in Swansea keeps her Christmas lights up year around. And on. Bye. Thank you.

Why do all the animals advertising on TV have to have a British accent, like the GEICO gecko or the Trip Advisor owl? Just wondering.

Hey, Obama, I see that the New York City Police Department rolled out their heavy duty, military style hardware for New Year’s Eve that you wanted to ban. Why don’t you go have another sitdown with Harry? Thanks.

Let’s update the old Nixon-era statement “America: Love it or leave it” and make it a new translation to the Trump era: “Russia: Love it or leave it.”

I got a fake $20 bill one time and couldn’t pass it anywhere. It was just a ragged mess, and obviously a fake. So, I ate it.

My New Year’s resolution was to try chitlins and liver and onions.

Why does the USC women’s basketball team call themselves the Gamecocks? A gamecock is a male chicken, a rooster. They should be called the Gamehens. I just don’t understand USC. I mean, good Lord. This is the Ass Buster from North Augusta. Good night.

Parents, please quit lying to your children and telling them that some fat bastard dressed in red comes down the chimney and leaves toys, and that a bunny hops around at Easter time laying damn eggs and giving you candy. It’s ridiculous and absurd. Next thing you know parents will be telling their kids that Carolina will win a damn football conference championship. It’s got to stop.

What did I think of Columbia’s Famously Hot New Year? Who the hell is Elle King?

There’s a town named North, South Carolina. Why isn’t there a town called South, North Carolina?

Yes, I have a rant for all you old-ass mother#!kin’ people who live to be 70 or 80 years old and are still working. Go sit y’alls old asses down and retire so these young people can get these damn jobs, Y’all's asses be working until you or 75 and 80. Go on and retire and s#!t. Y’all talk about there’s nothing for you to do. You could volunteer your time, you could do a lot of s#!t. Go sit y’all's asses down.

My friend doesn’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

On New Year’s Day my wife asked if I wanted some black-eyed peas. I said, “Yeah, I hope Fergie is with them.”

When our way becomes more important than Christ’s way, the world will be sure to see it.

On New Year’s the fireworks in Columbia were delayed. Was the Columbia City Council in charge of that?

The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

The mayor of Columbia has been trying to close Taboo, a sexually oriented business, for years. He should grow a backbone.

Yes, Happy New Year. I hope it will be better. In South Carolina they are going to close all the black clubs. When you go to these strip clubs, you are going to find a strip whore to pay. That is on my mind.

The government of the United States is still bringing these people of the United States. We are not going to have peace in this world. You must teach your children about right and wrong.

Yes, the ESPN coverage of the Gamecock bowl game was disgusting. We are not a second-rate team and they are certainly treating us like one. Bye. Thanks.

I just want everybody to know that my trust won’t be in no black-eyed peas and collard greens this year. My trust is going to be in God.

Yes, this rant is against Planet Fitness in Cayce. I was informed this morning that their policy is that you cannot wear jeans into the gym and work out because it intimidates other members. Really? I’ve been a member of Planet Fitness for about two years, going to the one at Dutch Square. Never saw a sign, never was told about any such policy when I joined, or anything of that nature. That is a bunch of crap. Just because you wear jeans doesn’t make you some kind of Neanderthal.

New Year’s Day was perfect. Carolina won and Clemson lost. It doesn’t get any better than that.

This is not to be published.

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