Wicked witch

Halloween's coming. I like sexy witch costumes.

Christine Blasey Ford proved only one thing: She is a liar. Think about it.

Saudi Arabia gambled and won like they always do. Money talks and bulls#!t walks. Right now, we're walking. The president literally throws the Saudis an alibi — "rogue killers" killed the journalist — and then sends portly Mike Pompeo over to eat a big dinner and glad hand with MBS. Nothing to see here, come on home tough guy Mike.

I live in Saluda and I always get a Free Times on the weekend when visiting my wife-to-be. Best magazine around. A lot of good stuff in here but you all know that! I sure hope it rains so the Gamecocks can play well! Go Cocks!

Just wondered: Does the Richland County Sheriff's office receive some federal funds? If so, would that require the Hatch Act to apply to the sheriff? If that is true, how can Sheriff Lott, in his Richland County uniform, endorse Dick Harpootlian for public office?

Does Muschamp owe Jake's dad some money? Come on, man, play the kid (Scarnecchia) who just won a game in a near hurricane. I mean, not even one down against Texas A&M. Muschamp has to be the hardest headed dude on campus. Not one snap. WOW.

So, Nikki spit the toadstool out of her mouth and directly into the mouth of Kanye? Lindsey Graham — DENIED! Always the bridesmaid.

I'm not sure if Halloween is real but I'm sure demons are real. Watch out, y'all. Don't let them capture you.

Kanye and Donye is a match made in heaven. Or hell.

Life is too short to be a right-winger. Think about it. Right-wingers torture themselves trying to keep up with the latest hate lists.

You say rainbows come out of unicorns? I must get with it. This is all news to me.

A rave to Harvard University for giving Colin Kaepernick an award for his advocacy work. If I were important, I would give him an award too. Thank you, Colin K. STOP police violence!

The new look of all the coeds on campus, with the long T-shirt where you don’t see any shorts, it’s just a T-shirt, when is that trend going to end? These trends come and go, with Uggs and this and that. But the T-shirt and whether or not there are shorts underneath, it’s just not that great of a look.

It appears people in Columbia believe that turn signals are against the law or will cause some kind of dire bodily harm or psychiatric pain. No one uses turn signals here in Columbia. And they really love to run through red lights.

To all those who say that the government is broken, I say that, with Trump, the fix is in.

Look out people. Richland County might close District One schools again, there’s another black artist coming to town.

Procurement. Taxpayers, do you know what that is?

FEMA, are you ready for people with disabilities to actually come in and fill paperwork out?

I just got my $300 taxi cab license renewed. That’s great, now I get to sit around downtown Columbia all day and watch the Ubers pick up. Yay!

Hi, I’m parked at the corner of Huger and Gervais, just off of the street. There are gorgeous flowers at that corner, at Mr. Kline’s former steel plant spot. There are butterflies everywhere and it’s absolutely gorgeous and he’s kept it up just perfectly. The rest of Columbia should take a lesson at how private properties can be maintained to beautify everything. Bye.

Ah, South Congaree, whose town motto is “You Can’t Get There From Here.”

WIS TV started doing the news in 1953. Was Joe Pinner there?

[In reference to Free Times' cover story, Oct. 3, about FatRat Da Czar] Boskey Nooks here. Word to HatRack Bizarre. Bro, you are 41. Cut that damn hair, get some grown-up clothes and get a damn job. Let your 15-year-old waste his time on that hip-hop s#!t. Boskey Nooks, out.

Here’s a couple high school football scores: 22-17 and 28-21. Yeah.

I swear to God, if you die I’ll never speak to you again.

The Turtle has observed that while it is true that a man does not have a period, it is also true that a man does not have multiple orgasms.

What in the world is an August Krickel? Bing, bam, boom, Maui, wowie, shazam!

Hey, this is the Swiss Kid. People that play with people live forever. Pets that play with pets live forever. If you can adopt two rescue critters, a boy and a girl, they’ll live forever. If you just have one, take it next door to frolic. Thanks a bunch.

My friend is from UCLA. Upper Conway, Lower Aynor.

Don’t you think football would be a better game if they treated injured players like they do injured racehorses?

If you think for one second that the midterm election will be fair, you’re wrong. The Republicans already have the polls planted and it will be a crooked election like the last election.

Hey folks, this is the Swiss Kid. Lindsey Graham was raised in the South with a girl’s name. Don’t you understand the hatred in him.

UFC sometimes has fights outside the ring. I’m not a fan anymore.

The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile was in Columbia. I’m a fan of Johnsonville myself.

This is BG The Blind Guy. So, is the Housewives of Congress over? No. They are still running around like a band of prostitutes from France.

Hey Donald Trump, why don’t we hire Blackwater to stop the war in Afghanistan?

If I were allowed to address any political gathering, Democrat or Republican, left or right, I would say one thing: If you have ever read the Constitution of the United States from beginning to end, please stand up. I wonder how many people would be standing?

It may just be me, but in Pooty’s TV ads his facial expressions suggest he is suffering from painful gas.

Hey, I feel bad for the children that have to go make up days. They can’t have vacation days while they are in school? It is ridiculous to have to make up those three or four days. Half the time it’s substitutes in there doing the work. It’s ridiculous. You should have let those kids have those days.

So now we have two sexual predators on the Supreme Court to go with the sexual predator in the White House. Isn’t this wonderful.

Donald Trump is Richard Nixon Redux. If you study Donald Trump, then you see what Nixon did from 1958 through his resignation, they are exactly the same, policies and everything.

SCE&G stands for Socialists, Communists Extorting and Gouging.

The other day I saw a person reading a book. A real book.

USC started playing good against Missouri when it started raining. Talk about divine intervention.

There was fraud within the nuclear plant that wasn’t built. All you executives with golden parachutes, maybe you should be looking at bars in your windows.

I think it’s best for travelers to go to motels and sleep in their cars.

The state grand jury has said that the attorney general impeded the State House investigation. I saw it in very small print on channel 19. I think they need to impede his ass on Broad River Road.

The other day I looked up a word in a paperback dictionary.

Anything is possible.

Now the shingles inoculation can actually produce shingles. There you go.

When we bring back some of these old bands from a long time ago, is that living in the past? Bye.

Listen, white folks, and pay attention. Y’all done had exclusive rights to the world, to do right or to do wrong. Now that I see all that you choose to do is wrong. Why? You eat oxtails every night if you want to. Y’all need to stop and lay back. Too many other countries out there trying to get at us.