Huff & Puff: A 52-year-old woman was having too much fun in front of an office supply store in West Columbia. Cops found the woman on the ground; she confessed that she’d had a few beers and said she’d call someone to pick her up. When she stood up, items fell from her bag. When the officer handed her one of the items (a bottle of cleaner), the woman inhaled it in front of the cop to get a rush. If she would’ve just waited a few minutes she could’ve been huffing with whoever was going to pick her up. She was arrested.
Next Door: A 46-year-old man was arrested after breaking into a trailer near Lexington. It didn’t take authorities too long to find the suspect, as he lived next door. The suspect took video games, DVDs and cigarettes. Was he already playing the games and smoking the cigs when the cops knocked on his door? We don’t know, but we’re glad this guy doesn’t live next to us.
Spare Change: Two men were arrested for several car-related incidents in the Lexington area, one of which involved breaking into a car and stealing the spare change in the coin holder. Hopefully the car wasn’t damaged; if it was, the owners probably wish they’d left a convenience-store-style cup on the hood with a note reading, “Need a penny? Please take this.”
Meth Fire: One of the many things you might learn from Breaking Bad is that meth is pretty damn flammable. One man discovered this first-hand as a fire broke out in his lab at his home near North Columbia. Firefighters were able to put out the fire, but the guy’s home is pretty messed up. The suspect suffered burns as well. Maybe people operating meth labs in their homes should have sprinkler systems. Just a thought.
In the Bag: If you’re driving around with three big Ziploc bags with weed in them, you might want to follow all driving laws so as to not bring any attention to yourself. Cops in Orangeburg tried to pull a car over for speeding, but the three suspects initially ignored the blue lights. When the car finally pulled over, the driver ran into in the woods and threw the bags into bushes — because the cops would never figure out what was going on with that, right? Next time these guys should drive one of those cars with “Student Driver” written on the side. So, when cops pull them over they can just blame the speeding on a kid trying to get his permit.
Must Be the Shoes: A suspect with a gun in his waistband approached a victim in downtown Columbia and demanded the victim’s cell phone. The victim complied, but that wasn’t all: The suspect took the victim’s sneakers, too. Being phoneless and barefoot sound like ingredients for worst day ever. No arrests have been made.
Tip of the Week: If you’re to steal from a cash register, you might want to have a more elaborate plan than just trying to take money when the cashier opens the drawer. Cops are looking for a male suspect who entered a gas station in North Columbia, pretended he was going to make a purchase and then attempted to take money from the register. Good thing the clerk was fast enough to shut the drawer on the suspect’s hands. The suspect then pulled out a knife, at which point the clerk ran in the back and called the cops. The would-be crook got away with nothing and the clerk should be named employee of the month.
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