Rant & Rave

Walking Around With His Pants Halfway Down

Plus: To the Sexy Fireman

By Free Times Readers
Wednesday, May 21, 2014 |
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This is a rave to Mayor Benjamin. I was at Good Life Café last week when you chased down some young misguided youth walking around with his pants halfway down and made him pull them up. Well done, sir. I really hoped you dropped a “‘Cause I’m the Mayor, bitch” into the conversation.

Why does it cost so much money to fly out of Columbia airport? Do those rocking chairs in the front really cost that much money?

What’s with women wearing shoes that look like they are wearing tree stumps on their feet?

Hey Columbia restaurants, now that all of the college students are gone, maybe you’ll start putting more coupons in the Free Times. Coupons mean more business. Think about it.

Quit f#!king around and just call it the Cult of Kristian Niemi Challenge. He’s not even a bartender but has won three years running. What a load of crap.

Off of Two Notch Road in front of Publix, there’s a Joe Wilson sign that has been knocked down on purpose. I think this is nasty. Those people that are out there for Mayor Joe Owens and stuff like that — screw them, because I’m voting straight Republican.

I want to talk about the person that wants to beat the s#!t out of people that think the people who wrote the Bible have an agenda (Rant & Rave, May 14): You got a lot of ass-beating to do because a lot of people believe there’s an agenda about that Bible.

“To the idiots who claim Jesus said something ...” Talk about the kettle calling the pot black. I don’t think the Bible is an autobiography written by Jesus, do you? A collaborative work spanning over 1,500 years is in and of itself somewhat of a miracle. Only fools criticize what they clearly don’t understand. Good day.

OK, it’s not even about barbecue anymore (Rant & Rave, May 14), it’s about your ego and your anger, and I’m becoming bored with both.

I just saw on the news about a Taste of Black Columbia on May 16. Could y’all hit me up with some dates on Taste of White Columbia?

First we had the Republi-cans, then we had the Republi-can’ts, now we have the Republi-Kochs, soon to come, the Republi-chokes.

Take that Confederate flag and put it in a museum. It’s for history. Let’s keep going, Columbia.

South Carolina has a female governor. Ironically, she’s the biggest dickhead in this state.

Now I see why they cut everything. They wanted to save money to get re-elected.

Please separate the Rant & Rave section and list all everyday remarks first and, if there is space left, then publish the political BS. Pliny the Elder would ditto. As would Studs Terkel. Will Rogers and Mark Twain would probably combine as you do now. Cheers.

I just want to give a rave for the Columbia city cop that had a car pulled over on I-77 last Sunday on Mother’s Day. I just wonder why they can’t leave the interstate problems to the real cops and take care of hassling students, running in the other direction from gunshots — and, in general, not solving crimes. Richland County cops, they put their lives on the line every day, but city cops, no. We just laugh at them.
They’re a nice joke. That’s why I’m raving. Thanks.

To the guy complaining about lack of BrotherCare (Rant & Rave, May 21): Your BrotherCare is called Oliver Gospel Mission. Helping men get on their feet. Educate yourself before you complain.

What are Mark Sanford, Nikki Haley, Lindsey Graham and Joe Wilson doing for South Carolina? They’re supposed to be helping.

To the “Mexican” woman who thinks the 19-year-old is racist, she’s clearly stating what everyone else is thinking (Rant & Rave, May 14).
And if you didn’t notice, she said she’s 19: She’s in college; she can’t get a “real” job until she’s graduated. If anyone is ignorant, it’s you.
It truly amazes me just how uneducated today’s college students are about the real world in politics and the corporate world.

To the Mexican who complained (Rant & Rave, May 14): Welcome to the United States of America. Imagine being black.

Wow. Hilarious. I got my freakin’ ass kicked by the crotch-rocket hater, crotchety geezer in last week’s issue (Rant & Rave, May 14).

Awesome. How easy was it to figure out you were an old entitled jerk who just didn’t like the noise of some cycles going by you on the Lake Murray Dam while you had your evening stroll? You were screaming it. I’m 6’3, 220 pounds, and played linebacker and tight end not long ago. Besides that, I’m younger, smarter and better looking than you. You should probably restrict your ‘freakin’ ass kicking’ to the anonymous Rant & Rave page.

I’m like that white man. Where the hell is all South Carolina’s money going with all this taxpaying?

If you ever needed a better example as to why multiculturalism is bulls#!t, check out Yo-Yo Ma’s latest Silk Road project. Has the world ever witnessed such a Mulligan’s stew of noise? What is it with this guy? He ruins everything he touches. And he’s getting very rich in the process. Cultural pollution is bad, people. Yo-Yo Ma, I seriously want to kick your ass.

I have no objection to wild opinions — that’s the American way. But the remarks about Clay Aiken were astonishingly ignorant (Rant & Rave, May 14). What, Google was down? Those of us in North Carolina have seen the man in action for the last several weeks and seen the way he reacted to his opponent’s sudden death. Do you really think thousands of people voted for him because he can sing? He’s a very serious candidate and better informed than most.

To the sexy fireman who responded to the wreck I was in on Trenholm Road: You are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen, and I wish I had the courage to talk to you. Watching you do your thing totally took my mind off of the fact that I just totaled my car — The girl in the black Mustang

My wife bought me a new car. She’s my sugar mama.

Can someone help me get my boyfriend to move away from Dumblumbia and back to Charlotte? Anyone?!?

Peace, Love and Hope — and the greatest of these is GODZILLA.

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