Crime Blotter

Squirreling Around

Plus: Delivery Downers

By Preach Jacobs
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Illustration by Jason Crosby

This information comes from local police reports. It does not mean anyone is guilty. This is not a court of law.

Squirreling Around: A Lexington school was on lockdown after a bus driver saw a man with a rifle in a wooded area near the facility. Cops looked into the situation, and it turned out the man in question was hunting squirrels (think Swamp People) and had killed two before the cops showed up. Though some might find it disturbing, authorities determined that the man was allowed to hunt as he was hunting lawfully on private property. No crime was committed, but let’s all pour some liquor for our fallen squirrels.

Delivery Downers: Pizza guys have it the worst, driving around for little pay, fielding customers’ complaints and dealing with the wear and tear on their 1996 Honda Accords. Sometimes they have to deal with crooks, too. A pizza delivery guy pulled up to drop off a pizza in the downtown Columbia area when a man ran up with a gun and robbed him, running off into the night with the pizzas. No arrests have been made, but here’s an idea: When pizza places start making people pay up front when they order, then some of these robberies will end. Side note: All this pizza talk is making me hungry. I’ll call for delivery.

Meth-Lab Six: Six people ranging from age 19 to age 59 were busted at a meth lab in Lexington. Authorities got a tip that an operation was going on at the home in the woods, and when the authorities showed up, it was like an episode of Duck Dynasty mashed up with Breaking Bad. Let’s hope A&E doesn’t try to make a show like that.

Father & Son: A dad and his boy should always find new ways to bond. Fishing, sports or even playing PlayStation 4 are pretty good ideas, but a 38-year-old man and his 17-year-old son decided to try something else. The father-and-son team was arrested and charged with stealing trailers, vehicles and more in the Lexington area — totaling to more than $80,000 worth of stolen property. If this kid dreamed of being like his pops when he grows up, he really should reconsider his options.

Necklace: A 21-year-old woman got into an argument with an ex-boyfriend. The woman went to her ex’s home to retrieve a necklace. Her ex told her that it wasn’t there, but the driver of the car she’d come over in got out and attempted to start a fight. The woman and the driver eventually got back in the car, but as they left they fired shots at the ex-boyfriend’s home. The woman was arrested. Was it worth it?

Tip of the Week: Robbing one of the most recognizable venues in the city might not be the best idea in the world. A 41-year-old man parked his car outside of Williams-Brice Stadium, went inside and took six TVs, an Xbox and a PlayStation (wonder if it was the new PS4). It didn’t take too long for someone to report that a suspicious vehicle was outside the stadium and for cops to find the suspect in question. Let’s hope that he had some time to enjoy the new Madden or Call of Duty before getting arrested.

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