Vibrations: A 38-year-old woman in Spartanburg stole a vibrator at a novelty shop and attempted to hide it in her kid’s stroller. (Why was her kid in a place that sells vibrators? We can’t answer that.) The woman attempted to sneak out, but the store manager confronted her. At first, she tried to act as if nothing improper had happened, but then she gave up. Maybe the possibility of her kid mistaking the vibrator for a Star Wars light saber was just too much to bear.
Power Washing: Someone stole a pressure washer and a trailer from a garage at a home in Irmo. Who would be interested in stealing a presser washer — home-improvement show guru Bob Vila? Cops are looking for a white pickup truck that might have been involved in the theft. No arrests have been made, but cops are looking for people with newly pristine home decks and siding.
Try Again: A 20-year-old man was seen on surveillance video attempting to break into a gas station in Northeast Columbia. Unlike most suspects, this one at least tried to deal with the fact that convenience stores all have cameras, climbing up toward a camera in an unsuccessful attempt to cut the wires connected to it. Then the guy kicked the business’s door in an effort to get it open, but that didn’t work either. Finally, the suspect threw something at the door to gain entry, but that failed, too. The guy left defeated and turned himself in the next day.
Stealing Smokes: A 22-year-old and a 17-year-old were arrested after holding up a gas station in Lexington. The suspects entered the gas station with masks on and one of them pulled out a gun. Then they demanded money and cigarettes. The suspects got away with a whopping $53 and 10 packs of Newports. Congratulations, you stole enough to retire on. Seriously, though, you threw away your future for 53 bucks? Damn.
Falling: A 25-year-old man realized the hard way that crime is a profession that can come crashing down around you … literally. Cops showed up at the man’s North Columbia apartment with a search warrant related to several area robberies. The man tried to escape by climbing through the ceiling; he ended up falling through the ceiling of a woman living next door. The suspect was arrested; the cops must have laughed hysterically at the man’s ill-fated escape plan.
Escape Artist: A 21-year-old man was arrested for a smorgasbord of charges including indecent exposure, assault and escape. While the suspect was being arrested for a disturbing-the-peace incident, he told cops that he had a shoulder injury needing attention. The cops got an ambulance for him, but the Houdini-like suspect slipped out of his frickin’ cuffs and took off. Cops had to chase him before nabbing him. Then they cuffed him again and took him to the hospital. One more thing: This guy needs his own reality show ASAP.
Tip of the Week: If you’re going to be bad, be bad all the way. A man turned in a wallet dropped by an elderly lady to the cops. The problem is that he allegedly took all the cash out of the wallet before he returned it. Cops say the man stole $1,400 worth of cash. Why is granny carrying that much money? My granny usually has 10 bucks and a jar of Tussy deodorant in her purse.
Delicious Downtown Breakfast
Tony’s is open for breakfast every day from 7:30-10:30! Conveniently located on Washington St. right off Main. Stop in for something filling and delicious before work! Follow us for updates on specials.
Accepting Applications for Shakespeare’s Kidz!
Students ages 10-16 are invited to join South Carolina Shakespeare’s new youth company, with classes running September 20th-December 11th followed by a final performance. Contact Katie Mixon with questions about scholarships and applications: PKatieMixon@gmail.com.
Happy Hour and Sushi Specials All Week
Red Bowl in Lexington now has great early bird and late night sushi specials 7 days a week, as well as 99-cent kids meals on Saturdays! Click here for special information and hours.
Brew Pub Site Available
3520 Augusta Road, West Columbia. Click for more information.
Make Your Own Beer and Wine!
Come get started on your “liquid hobby” and help us celebrate our 46th year in the Columbia area. Bet Mar Liquid Hobby Shop: 736 St. Andrews Road.
SEARCH FREE TIMES
Free Times is looking for a highly organized, detail-oriented self-starter to assist in gathering material from advertisers, coordinating between the sales and production departments, and handling routine clerical tasks. Must be proficient on a Mac, able to conduct business via phone, email, text, Dropbox, social media platforms and face to face while under deadline in a fast-paced, sometimes distracting work environment. The position requires the ability to multitask, excellent oral and written communication skills, and solid experience in quickly learning new computer programs. This is a full time position with benefits. Send a cover letter, resume and salary expectation to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Pool Cleaning Full & P/T avail. Must have a clean driving record, organized and have a professional appearance. Starting Pay is $10.00/hr. Please bring a copy of your driving record and a list of all past employers with duration of employment listed as well as telephone numbers for references. Please call for an interview. 803-865-1200
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Wing Zone is now hiring for experienced delivery drivers, cooks & cashiers. Apply in person @ 132 Assembly St. or call 803-933-9464.
Real Estate Spotlight
Single Family Home for rent 3359 Makeway Dr. 3BR/1.5BA. Hardwood floors, garage, central heat/AC, fenced yard, all appl. newly renovated. Call 803-960-1058. $1095/mo.
Mungo Homes. Celebrating 60 years of our family building for your family. mungo.com