Rant & Rave

Screw the Earth

Plus: All These Sex Offenders

By Free Times Readers
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Free Times: Don’t you dare endorse Noah, whoever that is (Rant & Rave, April 16). Screw the Earth, what’s it ever done for us anyway?

I’m getting ready to fill out the Best Of. And my only rant is why do people put Red Lobster for Best Seafood? Why do people put in franchises? I would just like to see people support local businesses in the Best Of.

How do you spell incompetent? You don’t spell it. You just put Haley and Koller’s picture next to the damn word.

This is a rave to me for having the balls to walk seven miles yesterday [when I had] bad vehicle trouble. And I’m doing it again today, maybe twice. It takes balls to do that and not get run over. And this is a rant to all the people who could have picked me up in their pickup truck and wouldn’t do it.

What’s on my mind is hogs harassing black people for smoking marijuana. It is not too many days before they pass a law. You don’t know if that person has a chronic illness. Quit harassing people. You’re roaches, you’re dogs, you’re rats. I know you smoke marijuana.

You know, I like dogs just about as much as anybody else does. What I don’t like is people walking around house to house, mailbox to mailbox, letting their dogs defecate and urinate in people’s yards. There’s a leash law. There ought to be a defecation law, too. You can’t pick up urination but you can pick up a turd — but most people don’t even do that. I’m thinking about starting to fertilize my front lawn with hamburger, Roundup and glass.

This is a rant to all the big girls out there. I don’t have a problem with people who are a little heavy. The only problem I have is, hey, some clothes just aren’t made for you.

This is a rant to all the homeless agencies. Can you start a training class to teach [the homeless] how to cross the street? If I hit one of these idiots, dressed in all black at midnight in the pitch-black dark, is that OK?

All right, here it goes. The downfall of Mother Earth and humanity: (1) nationalism, (2) religion, (3) sugar, (4) money, (5) technology. This is what breaks the cycle of life, seven generations strong. Thank you.

Seems like every time we need the mayor, he’s off on a scheduled trip. What does he thinking mayor stands for — I “may or” may not be here?

All these sex offenders, I keep getting notifications when they move into my neighborhood, I have an app that lets you know. And you know, they are all over the place. These people [can’t] be rehabilitated. There is just something wrong with their minds. You need to open up that state mental hospital and put these people in there. They don’t need to be around schools or parks or around houses that have kids in them.

To the theologian who claims Jesus just kind of pushed aside the Old Testament when he came (Rant & Rave, April 16): Does that include the Ten Commandments? Does that include Leviticus and its prohibitions against homosexuality? Just wondering.

Lillian McBride is on my mind. Expectations become lost just to fill a minority spot. It’s a shame.

Yeah, what’s up with these road construction people? They lay down these inch-and-a-half plates when they’re doing stuff. They used to put down slightly smaller plates so you didn’t destroy your tire when you rode over it. And it pretty much makes two-wheeled vehicles slide out from under you. And now they install the manhole covers several inches lower than the actual pavement. What’s up with it?

That USC administrators, sports and otherwise, are arrogant and incompetent is not news, Kevin Fisher (City Watch, “Gamecock Club Sacked for a Loss,” April 16). The only new ‘news’ here is that USC administrators now openly treat their sports fans and donors as low-down weaselly bad as they do their employees. 

I am so sick and tired of all the radio stations sounding the same now.

Columbia has some hilarious stand-up comics that NEED to be recognized. Our local comedy scene is not getting the appropriate respect or recognition as it deserves. Red Door Tavern hosts an open-mic night for comics every Monday but there is NEVER any mention of it in the Free Times. So enough about Urban Outfitters’ lights and Bible-humping homophobes. Lets get the word out and support our local comics! It’s what Jesus would want us all to do.

There are some exceptional local comics in Cola, but no Best Local Comic category voted on or promoted in Free Times. I think the town is missing a chance to discover some real hidden talent here! 

On the state level, on the national level and on the local level, we have some of the worst politicians.

Afghanistan just successfully held an election. They had to overcome voter intimidation issues, political corruption issues, and terrorist organizations bent on denying the people of their say in their owngovernment. Lucky for them they did not have to contend with the Richland County legislative delegation and Lillian McBride. 

To the cashier at Trader Joe’s, thank you. When I told you it was not a good day for me, you brought me a bouquet of flowers. I had received terrible news that day. I don’t know if I could express it then, but truly those flowers were a kindness I appreciated very much.

I have a name for the new minor league baseball stadium: Hot Air Stadium.

Lindsey Graham wants states to opt out of Obamacare and leave people that can’t afford insurance with what? Going back to the ER for colds and the flu so we taxpayers foot the bill?

Why won’t Gov. Nikki Haley accept Medicaid funding? Because thumbing her nose at the president of the United States is more important to her than the health of her constituents.

If I had waited on Joe Wilson or Nikki Haley or Lindsey Graham for insurance, I’d be dead by now.

This is a random thought from the brainy guy: That yellow Thunderbird in the classified ads and the Malaysian airliner disappeared at about the same time. Don’t overthink it, but it’s true. And I miss the high guy. Come back, high guy. 

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