Old Man Robbery: Authorities are looking for a man in his 60’s and who allegedly robbed a bank near the Forest Acres area. Workers at the bank say the suspect didn’t present a weapon but demanded money and was wearing a T-shirt with a logo, khaki shorts and white tennis shoes (i.e., every man in their 60s). Here’s one theory: Old men always walk into banks and jokingly say “gimme the money, ha ha.” But this time, someone took him seriously and the guy just decided to go for it. Want to find the perp? Go to a Buick dealership.
Mayhem Hits Home: A family in Rosewood was probably scared s#!tless when a reckless driver drove a car into their home early one morning. The driver smashed through the front wall of the home. Sounds like mayhem to us; what would the Allstate guy have to say about this? Luckily nobody was injured in the Ricky Bobby-esque driving incident.
Motel Parking: It’s bad enough to have to stay in a motel, but it’s adding insult to injury to have your parked car stolen while you’re there. Cops were tipped off to a break-in at a motel in the Harbison area. When the authorities arrived, a 21-year-old male suspect attempted to speed away in the car he’d broken into, leading the police on a chase that ended up with the suspect crashing. The suspect was injured and arrested, and some poor sap’s car is muffed up. Proving one universal law: Nothing costs more than a cheap motel.
Hand-to-Hand: A cop saw a 20-year-old doing a drug deal near a gas station in Northeast Columbia. The officer checked out the suspect’s license plate number and found that plate was expired. After doing the check, the cop tried to pull the suspect over for the expired tags and the drug transaction. The suspect ignored the blue lights and attempted to drive away, hitting a civilian’s car as well as a cop car before crashing. The suspect was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries — but with a f#!ked-up car.
Party Van: If you’re cooking meth in your van, you want to draw as little attention as possible to your vehicle. (Remember, serial killer Son of Sam was nabbed because of a parking violation.) Authorities were alerted to a home where a van was playing music too loud. (For some reason, we’re imagining that it was Guns N Roses’ “Welcome to the Jungle.”) When the authorities showed up to check out the noise, they found items used for cooking meth — and you know cops can spot that stuff right away. Like a bad episode of Breaking Bad, there were eight people in the garage next to the van. All of them were arrested, opening up space for some smarter criminals to step up to the plate.
Tip of the Week: Unless you’re an obsessive video gamer at an arcade, breaking into something for change is usually a waste of time. Two suspects drove up to a gas station in Northeast Columbia, broke an air compressor stand and stole the change that was in it. This sounds as crazy as Cool Hand Luke with Paul Newman’s character tearing the heads off the parking meters. In addition to the money stolen, the suspects’ stunt caused an estimated $1,500 worth of damage. (It’s kind of like breaking into a car and messing up its windows just to take change out of the ashtray.) No arrests have been made, but authorities should be looking at every Coinstar machine in the area.
Bluegrass, Bidding, and BBQ
Join The Palladium Society Thursday, October 23rd from 7-10 p.m. for its 11th annual silent auction, featuring music by The Mustache Brothers and catering by Bourbon and The Oak Table. Tickets are $30 at the door and include admission, drinks, and food. Get yours online now!
King Lear in Finlay Park
October 16th-18th and 22nd-25th, the South Carolina Shakespeare Company presents William Shakespeare’s King Lear. All performances held at the Finlay Park Ampitheatre at 7:30 PM. For tickets and more information, click here or call 803-665-2000.
3LAU on Sunday, October 26th and the Unofficial Skrillex Mothership Tour After-Party on the 27th. More information and tickets for both can be found here. VIP tables available.
The Other Place at Trustus Theatre
Juliana Smithton is a successful neurologist whose life seems to be coming unhinged. A mystery unfolds as fact blurs with fiction, past collides with present and the elusive truth of Juliana’s mental health boils to the surface in The Other Place, running at Trustus Theatre October 17th through November 1st. There will be a talk-back following the matinee on October 19th. Tickets can be purchased here or by calling the box office at 803-254-9732.
Four Miles, Twelve Doughnuts
Winston’s Wish aims to increase knowledge and understanding of children with autism, and you can help by participating in the 4.donut Race on October 25th. Start at Edventure Children’s Museum, run 2 miles to Krispy Kreme, eat 12 doughnuts, and run back! Registration is required and can be done here before October 23rd at 5 p.m.
SEARCH FREE TIMES
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Cupcake now hiring a closing manager. Must be outgoing, customer service focused, able to work evenings and weekends. Apply in person. 1213 Lincoln Street, Columbia SC 29201. freshcupcakes.com
Currently seeking a friendly & detail-oriented individual for an Administrative Assistant/Data Entry Clerk position on our Administrative Office team. Primary responsibilities include: Data entry, process incoming & outgoing mail, good communication skills required. Contact: email@example.com.
Local business is searching for new associates who are looking for a fun environment to earn great wages. Great position for college students/recent graduates. Must be well-mannered with excellent customer service skills/work ethic/ability to lift heavy items/must have valid Driver’s License. Call 803-376-4884 or email resume: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Real Estate Spotlight
The Lake Carolina new home community has it all! 1 YMCA, 3 pools, 10 parks, 20+ community events each year, and much more! Learn more. www.lakecarolina.com