Tatted Up: A 20-year-old man was arrested for tattooing juveniles in his North Columbia apartment. Authorities were alerted after one of the juveniles became ill. Here’s a suggestion for nonprofessional tattoo artists: Try tattooing a canvas for practice; it can save you a hell of a lot of trouble. And for the teens? You can get a tattoo legally once you’re 18; getting tatted in an apartment is like having surgery in someone’s living room. The suspect was fined for the acts.
Coke and a Smile: A 16-year-old boy broke into a Lexington-area home and stole a computer and several bottles of Coca-Cola. Surely there must have been something more valuable than Coke to go with that computer? That’s almost like breaking into a car and stealing the gum from the center console.
The Chase: A man robbed a bank in Northeast Columbia and led cops on a chase that extended to Newberry County. Authorities chased the suspect O.J.-style for miles and eventually used “deflation devices” — which means some type of tire spikes — to stop the car. Too bad the suspect didn’t pay more attention to the Fast and Furious series; he probably could’ve gotten away.
Follow Me: A 21-year-old man walked into a diner in Cayce, fired a shot and demanded money. After the suspect got the cash, he fired another shot toward a cook for attempting to follow him out of the restaurant. The cops showed quickly, though, and the suspect was arrested.
Fast Food Shooting: An unknown suspect is being sought after firing a shot in a fast-food joint in North Columbia and then taking money from the cash registers. Clearly the restaurant needed Akeem and Semi from Coming to America to stop the robbery from going down. Where’s Eddie Murphy when you need him?
Weed and Guns: A 20-year-old man was smoking weed with his friend until they got into an argument that led to a fight. (They were probably debating LeBron’s latest move.) After the shooting, the suspect ran but later turned himself in. The victim tried to drive to the hospital but passed out. He was found and treated for non-life threatening injuries. Lesson? Don’t smoke weed around guns.
Debit Fraud: Cops are searching for a woman who has been using stolen ATM cards to get money. Authorities have surveillance video of the suspect getting $1,300 out of someone’s account at an ATM in downtown Columbia. (Man, it must be nice to have $1,300 in your checking account.) No arrests have been made.
Tip of the Week: If you’re walking around acting like a cop and a real one shows up, you might want to make up a good story as to why you were dressed that way. A 35-year-old man was arrested in Camden after impersonating a cop at a department store. The suspect reportedly wore a shirt with the word “police” written across the front along with a badge. When a real cop approached him and asked if he was an officer, the suspect responded, “Yes. How may I help you?” The suspect was taken in and charged with impersonating an officer. He should’ve just said he was part of a Village People cover band.
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