Unholy DJ: Someone has been targeting churches in the Lexington area. Cops believe the suspect or suspects are responsible for about five break-ins; items stolen have included mixing boards and recording equipment. Let’s hope if these people are cutting a record, it isn’t any religious music. Breaking into churches and then making music for the Almighty just might not cut it.
Hotel Meth: Cops got a tip about a meth lab operating out of a hotel room in Elgin. When the cops showed up at the room, they found a single boiling pot of ingredients used to manufacture the drug. The cops arrested the suspects running the lab; one of the men nabbed had been arrested previously for disorderly conduct, DUI, strong-arm robbery and carjacking. Now he can add half-assed meth lab to the list. Consider it one more chance to turn his life around.
Jump: A man entered a bank in West Columbia and handed a teller a note demanding money. When the teller wasn’t moving fast enough, the suspect jumped over the counter and took $500 from the drawer. Note to aspiring bank robbers: If you’re going to run the risk of getting a federal charge by robbing a bank, make sure it’s more than a Best Buy employee’s salary. Either go all in, as in the movie Heat, or just fall back. Just saying.
Hit-and-Done: A 44-year-old man was arrested after a hit-and-run incident that occurred in West Columbia. The suspect drove away from the scene but the victim ended up spotting the suspect’s car almost a month later at the USC season-openingfootball game. (This is probably the only good news for the victim after seeing what Kenny Hill did to the Gamecocks.) The victim alerted the authorities and they followed the suspect back to his home and charged him with leaving the scene of an incident.
Runaway: A 19-year-old man was robbed outside his home near downtown Columbia. When cops arrived, the victim ran away; apparently paranoia of cops has gone national. The victim ended up falling in a creek, and the cops helped him up. No arrests have been made.
Back Pay: A 46-year-old Lexington man found out how much back child support could cost after being arrested for not paying upwards of $170,000 toward his offspring. The suspect was ordered to make payments on the debt, but then he went AWOL. He was arrested and his bond was set at $150,000 — but if he goes to prison, he won’t be able to pay anything. Instead of jail, the suspect should be given a job he would hate — and that would make people hate him. Is a parking meter agent vacancy available?
Tip of the Week: If someone who’s not wearing a uniform tells you where you should park, be wary. A man trying to park in a vacant lot across from an adult nightspot in North Columbia was told he would be towed if he parked in that area. Instead, the suspect directed the driver to a different area. Once the victim parked, the suspect robbed the driver and took his car keys. Proves one thing: If you want to see some boobies, just visit a free adult site like 17-year-old boys do. God bless ‘Merica.
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