Crime Blotter

Loaded Weapon

Plus: Richland County, Nebraska

By Preach Jacobs
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Loaded Weapon: A 45-year-old woman went to the restroom at a fast food restaurant in Camden. That doesn’t seem like a crime, but then she left a loaded pistol on the toilet paper dispenser (‘cause you know, you don’t want the gun interfering when you’re on the potty). Later that day, a girl and her friends saw the weapon and alerted a parent, who turned the pistol into the manager and called the cops. Oh, there’s more. The woman then remembers, ‘Oh snap! I left my gun in the bathroom’ and showed up to get it back. It wasn’t the same as picking up a jean jacket from the lost and found, though. She was arrested.

Richland County, Nebraska: Remember that Oscar-nominated movie about an elderly man who thinks he won a million bucks? Well, it’s usually a scam when you think you’re getting money that you didn’t earn — unless your Aunt Gertrude is leaving you a bunch of money. An elderly Richland County man got a “check” in the mail for about $2,000; along with the document were weird instructions on how to use the funds from the fake check to get calling cards. Pretty soon, large amounts of money starting being withdrawn from the man’s bank account. After getting a second check in the mail, the man called the police. No arrests were made, but let’s make it clear to anyone who might fall into a similar trap: No one is going to send you free money, and Ed McMahon is never coming to your house. Sorry.

Stabbin’ Johns: A man took a woman to his home in the north Columbia area. After the two were at the man’s home, the woman stabbed him in the upper body. The man called the police and said he had “no idea” why the woman had stabbed him. The guy also admitted to police that the woman was indeed a prostitute. No arrests have been made.

Cocaine Cowboy: What do you do if you’re on bond for cocaine trafficking? You set up another drug operation, of course. Cops got a tip about possible drug activity going on at the home of a 47-year-old man. When authorities showed up, they found half a pound of weed and 125 bags of heroin (sounds like it’s 1970s post Vietnam). Cops also staked the area out and found drugs in people’s cars that were leaving the home. With any luck, this guy will get out on bond again and set up another drug operation somewhere else; clearly he’s not a quitter.

Tip of the Week: If you’re going to go through the trouble of breaking into someone’s home and stealing a television, you might not want to leave the s#!t just laying around when you get away. Two suspects broke into a home in north Columbia. Victims told authorities that the suspects took nothing but a 32-inch television that was later found in the woods behind the home. (Maybe they dropped it to speed their getaway; or maybe they just decided a 32-inch TV wasn’t worth their while.) No arrests were made, but these guys don’t seem like the brightest crayons in the box.

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