Crime Blotter

Keep Your Road Rage in Check

Plus: Keys in the Car

By Preach Jacobs
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Illustration by Jason Crosby

Hit & Run: A male driver rear-ended a female driver in the north Columbia area. Instead of taking responsibility for the incident, the man got out of his vehicle and told the woman not to call the cops. The woman attempted to take a picture of the car that hit her, but the man tried to obscure his license tag and assaulted the woman before leaving the scene. Cops eventually found the suspect; he was charged not only for the accident, but also for the assault. The lesson: Keep your road rage in check, folks.

Keys in the Car: Everyone has memories of their mother or father warming up the car on cold days before driving to school. But leaving your car running while you’re away just for a few moments doesn’t seem to be the best idea these days, especially if you do it at a gas station. Two men saw an SUV with its engine running outside a gas station and they drove off in it. On a related note: Wouldn’t that be a great reality television show? Leave a car running and see who tries to take it? Then when someone tries to steal it, cameras come out. A&E, you’re welcome. The SUV hasn’t been found.

Escape Artist: A 25-year-old man was arrested for shoplifting and taken into the police station. The suspect was handcuffed to a desk in an interviewing room. (Think of every person ever arrested on Law and Order.) After being left alone for a brief moment, the suspect just … left. Cops believe he must’ve tampered with his cuffs and the door in the room, which police said was locked from the outside. Authorities searched the facility with K-9s, but he still wasn’t found. Cops eventually picked him up at Elmwood Cemetery. Adding an escape charge to a relatively minor shoplifting incident isn’t going to improve this guy’s future.

Tip of the Week: If you’re doing something illegal, you might want to keep a low profile on social media. A 30-year-old man had some run-ins with the authorities. After the man posted something incriminating on social media, the authorities were able to get a warrant; they arrested the suspect and charged him with intent to distribute. Next time you feel like posting about your illegal activities online, just resist the urge and go to a porn site like everyone else.

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