Rant & Rave

It’s a City of Columbia Coinspiracy

Plus: That was Cold, Cold Weather

By Free Times
Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Free Times, thank you for having a groundbreaking moped story (Cover, “Two Wheels, Twice the Fun,” Jan. 8). Mopeds make the cover. Yay.

Nice article about the mopeds and scooters (Cover, “Two Wheels, Twice the Fun,” Jan. 8). A lot of those moped and scooter riders are using up valuable bicycle rack space. Especially at the library downtown. To those idiots who use bike racks for their scooters and mopeds, park in a motorized vehicle space, idiots. That’s what they are for. Neither bicycle racks nor sidewalks are legal parking for mopeds, scooters or motorcycles. Check the local ordinances. And to the Columbia Police Department, do your f#!king job and cite these as well as other misdemeanor criminals for illegal parking.

Half-rant: No more staples, I’m trying to wipe my butt here! Other half-rant: Mopeds can legally go 30, not 25! SC Code of Laws, Article 9, Section 56-1-1710. Look it up if you’re going to print it. Thanks.

“Two Wheels, Twice the Fun,” Otis? Try “Two Wheels, Twice the Bros”. @2brosonamoped broke the real Columbia story on the moped army in the Midlands. 

Rave: Colorado taxes drug users and puts money to good use. Rant: South Carolina spends money on arresting, convicting and confining drug users still. #MakeMoneyNotCriminals

A major rant to whomever decided it would be a good idea to build a car dealership on Sunset Boulevard in West Columbia. There used to be large, old hardwoods and a creek running through the property. Now there will be only a drainage ditch for the runoff coming from the asphalt parking lot. Thanks.

I was recently let go due to exhausting all my leaves from being out on disability. The CEOs and higher-ups have a nonchalant and judgmental attitude. I work hard and pray harder. I’m not about to be homeless because I want to be (Rant & Rave, Jan. 8). God is good. Why aren’t more people?

A rant to the City of Columbia parking meter division: Please tell your damn meters to stop eating my change. Seriously, there’s like a 50-50 chance when I put a coin in that it will just disappear without ever adding time.  It’s a coinspiracy, I tell you.

I’m so excited about getting a minor league baseball team. We had one, and an ice hockey team. I enjoyed going to games for both teams. But if USC decides it doesn’t want something, it has to go, so both teams were forced out, a big loss for Columbia. People have really short memories.

Does anyone else get a feeling of defeat from dealing with government and corporations? Maybe it’s just me.

So I go to a certain bar with a weekly deal on tacos to get a quick bite to eat before work and suddenly I get a tiny bit of insight into what it was to be black in the 1950s because they won’t serve me. Why? Because I won’t order a drink. Before I go to work. What if I was an alcoholic? Hipster d#!kholes.

Materialism in the United States is shameful. Materialism in the church is a sin. Materialism among the young is obnoxious. Materialism in the welfare community is an insult.

This is a rant to a middle-aged tall perv in a green wig and a ski mask taking pics of himself while walking a dog off Gervais Street. I mean, WTF, man, aren’t you too old for selfies? Get a job or something. 

If a man is pushing a woman back, the man gets charged with some kind of violence against a woman. But a woman can smack and beat a man all around and that’s OK. But if the man pushes back, he’s in trouble. If you get smacked around you ought to be able to just push them back and say, “Get out of here. Get out the way.” Something needs to be changed about that.

This is a rave to Steve Spurrier and a rant to all the Spurrier haters. Where are they now? No. 4 — best we’ve ever had. Pretty good season, Coach Spurrier.

My best friend has never been on an airplane. Even a lot of snakes have been on airplanes. Yeah.

I’m 72 years old and my car broke down Friday morning in that 37 degrees and I want to thank all my black brothers and sisters who passed this old lady, looked in my face and didn’t even offer help. Just want to thank God for all my black brothers and sisters. I love my black brothers and sisters but that was cold, cold weather.

I have an idea how South Carolina can get more revenue. Hire more Highway Patrol. The speed limit on the interstate is 70 mph. I’m doing 80 mph in the center lane and cars are passing me like I’m sitting still.

This is a rant to the South Carolina state legislature over H.3526, which is a problem because the state doesn’t need to tell us when we can pray or if we can pray, because I can pray anytime I want to and my child can pray anytime she wants to (“Democrats Water Down School Prayer Proposal,” Jan. 8). Nobody can tell her when she can pray, nobody can tell her that she can’t pray, because she can pray silently anytime during the school day. So thanks for the help to make yourselves look good, but if you’re a real Christian or any other religion as well, you already know that you’re supposed to pray privately.

It’s not a great day in South Carolina. I am so tired of hearing that. Is there any possible way we can put an end to hearing, “It’s a great day in South Carolina”?

Applied for a job with today, the staffing company in Columbia, and when I told the guy I used public transportation, not only did he insult me and say to call him when I get that worked out, he laughed. I guess he thought his s#!t didn’t stink.

This is a rave to the people on the next aisle over at the grocery store that was snickering at the fart noises.. It was a whoopee cushion from Dollar General. New and improved. You got punk’d by a 10-year-old.

This is a shout out to the a#!hole who wrote in last week’s issue that most homeless people are homeless cuz they want to be. (Rant & Rave, Jan. 8). U r such a jerk ... just sayin’.

Hey you forgot to mention the best part about mopeds: saddling up with your number one bro and riding butt-to-crotch into the sunset together.

My heart is healthy enough for sex but not for listening to you tell long stories about what you got in the Beyond department at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Why doesn’t match.com have a filter for people who just shampoo their hair? All I want is unconditioned love.

Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.

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