Guns and Shoes: Authorities are looking for a 27-year-old man who reportedly stole an assload of items from a home near Eastover, including an AK-47, an AR-15, a .22-caliber handgun, a Ruger P345 handgun and a Mossberg 500 shotgun; the suspect also got away with a TV, an Xbox and eight pairs of Jordans. First of all, this guy must’ve had a field day to be able to get all of that out of a house. Second of all, I’m more afraid of the person he robbed. Anyone with that much firepower in their home doesn’t sound like someone who will be the calm, communicative type if the suspect is found. No arrests have been made, but apparently the suspect could be heavily armed and very stylish.
Weed and Cars: As part of a two-month undercover operation investigating drugs in the Lexington area, four people were arrested in relation to a home drug operation that uncovered over 19 marijuana plants, meth (but of course), guns and a stolen car.
Steak Dinner: A 40-year-old man was arrested after being caught leaving a grocery store in Camden with stolen steaks stuffed in his “crotchal region” (as Ron Burgundy would say). Authorities followed the suspect after he stole the T-bones, and the suspect fled, running into a restaurant while being chased by the cops. He was eventually caught behind a repair shop. All that’s left are two questions: 1) Did the cops return the stolen property back to the store? And 2) was this guy planning on cooking these for someone other than himself? If so, eww.
Drive-Thru Home: A homeowner got an alternative air conditioner when someone drove into his Leesburg home early one morning. The car crashed through a backyard fence before hitting the side of the home and leaving a hole. This is what happens when Ricky Bobby drives blindfolded. No arrests were made.
Boom Goes The Dynamite: There’s a catch-22 when it comes to meth. Sure, you can make it pretty cheaply. (That’s why there’s a new lab popping up every week.) But it’s still a form of chemistry and, like in a Breaking Bad episode, things can go boom if you don’t know what you’re doing. Authorities arrested several people involved in a mobile home meth lab explosion near Northeast Columbia. One man was dropped off to a hospital with burns. A couple with a child fled the state and was found in Alabama.
Touring Musician: If it wasn’t bad enough being a touring musician, sleeping on floors and getting paid in PBR, having your equipment stolen is just adding insult to injury. A band was touring in a van with a trailer full of equipment with instruments valued over $25,000. It was reported stolen near a hotel in Cayce. Luckily, the trailer was recovered, but all the equipment was gone. Well, heartbreak and moments like these are great material for a new album.
Orange Is the New Black: Three women were arrested after authorities found their meth lab in a trailer home in Lexington. The cops went to the home on a tip about a suspect stolen tractor-trailer. When they arrived, there were three women cooking (not food, you anti-feminists). Oh, and the cops also found the tractor-trailer as well.
Tip of the Week: Here’s a tip: If you’re operating a meth lab out of your trusty mobile home, you might want to stay on the low-low and not give the cops other reasons to snoop around your house. A 28-year-old man was nabbed by the cops after they found items from a My First Meth Lab kit in his house. The cops became hip to the meth situation because the suspect had a warrant out on a domestic violence charge; when they arrived at his home, the suspect also had a gun in the open. This guy probably wants a do-over for the week.
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