Rant & Rave

Frank, You’re Not in Kansas Anymore

Plus: The Right to Not Bathe

By Free Times Readers
Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I’m calling about Frank Martin being suspended. Ray Tanner should have thrown a baseball at him to quiet him down. Dawn Staley should coach both teams. Frank, you’re not in Kansas anymore.

Gee, I wonder if Spurrier had said what Frank Martin did, would the response from the University of South Carolina have been the same?

What’s on my mind is I want to talk about the cops messing with the homeless. They’re toy cops; they’re not real cops. If they were real cops, they wouldn’t be harassing people. If they’re not violent, don’t mess with them. Don’t mess with them, period. I think the police are rats, dogs and roaches. If you can’t be a person, then don’t be a person.

What is up with all the crust kids and feminazis in this town? Just because you are a vegan, it doesn’t give you the right to not bathe. If you are not going to shave, wear deodorant because you still stink up the spaces you occupy with your fellow humans.

I’d like to see if anybody gets the irony of the Occupy Columbia people getting $9,000 and some change from the government.

I can’t walk around the campus without thinking that before they build any more, shouldn’t USC prove they are fully utilizing the buildings they already have?

RANT! RANT! RANT! The judge thanks you for doing your civic duty for being on a jury after forcing you to miss work for a week. Thanks for nothing! The court pays you 10 friggin’ damn dollars per day while you lose $100 a day from your job. WTF! This s#!t needs to change! I’ll be shocked if this goes to print. Thanks!

If Mr. Moredock doesn’t like the book about South Carolina history by Mary Simms Oliphant (“Take Tillman Down,” March 5), maybe he ought to move up North. Also, maybe we could put the flags back up over Maurice’s.

I want to rant about Tillman (“Take Tillman Down,” March 5). First off, South Carolina has had a long line of known racists to govern this state and then get immortalized. Take, for instance, Strom Thurmond. They named a high school after this guy — the same guy that was all for segregation. If they take the Tillman statue down, please change the name of Strom Thurmond High School.

Leave Ben Tillman alone. He represents the Ben Tillmans of today.

Ben Tillman waits in hell for his fellow segregationists.

Holy crap Will Moredock, you nailed it (Cover story, “Take Tillman Down,” March 5)!  White people actually were racist in the ‘40s. Perhaps the fervor and long-winded prose gleaned from your college Age of Enlightenment [course] would be better served to keep old crappy textbooks out of schools.

“Pitchfork” Ben Tillman:  A lot of people see things his way, and that’s why we’ve got so much racism in South Carolina. And it’s always gonna be that way.

That statute of Ben Tillman was erected in 1940, 74 years ago. Why does everyone want to take it down now?

You can’t portray a cartoon character of a black dude in the Crime Blotter (Rant & Rave, March 5). You’d have Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton here so fast that you might as well book them at the Colonial [Life Arena] and save yourself the riots.

Kudos to the Salty Nut in Five Points for having the best tasting lemon-pepper wings I’ve ever had. Don’t believe me? Try ‘em!

This rave goes out to Eva Moore with the Free Times for being such a good journalist with thick skin. Kudos to you!

All right, Free Times! That’s it! I’m tired of having to flip the whole freaking book around when it comes to reading your horoscope and Crime Blotter because there’s a half-naked female on the other page! Seriously! You don’t think that’s awkward for your readers in public? You don’t think it’s kinda sketchy? Geez!

OK, editors of Rant & Rave. You’ve printed literally thousands of my words. When are you gonna hire me? P.S.: Porter Barron Jr., Eva Moore, Dan Cook: You should do NEWS. BRIEF. like Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update. Example: “Mayor Steve Benjamin wants $29 million from Columbia taxpayers for baseball stadium. In a related item, the Easter bunny wants a subsidy so he can fart rainbows.” 

I am so tired. I had to get up at 2 in the morning to change all the clocks.

Why does the city manager keep everything about the police chief search secret? Isn’t she a public official?

Rather than being dysfunctional and incompetent, Richland County and Columbia’s so-called governments should be flushed down the sewer.  By the way, do they have a patent on recycling idiots?

That scam, that so-called hospitality tax: Everybody pays, a few benefit.

When you make the Son of God white, you make God white. And I don’t want a damn thing to do with a god of any color.

Hi, I think people around here need to learn emotional intelligence. I think that society as a whole would be better, instead of being emotionally juvenile.

I got a great idea for Bull Street: Open up a golf course and call it The Asylum. Advertising would say, ”You’d be crazy not to play here.”

To the idiot who didn’t know what a Hokie is (Rant & Rave, March 5): It’s a turkey. They used to be called the Fightin’ Gobblers about a hundred years ago.

About the Virginia Tech Hokies, I’m not sure what a Hokie is because it’s not in the dictionary, but I think it’s a turkey. We used to go to the Virginia Tech games back in the ’70s and I remember people rooting for the Gobblers.

Why does road construction put the manholes in the path of vehicles’ tires on every street? Wouldn’t it make more sense if they would put it in the center of the road?

About the Obama and Ukraine thing (Rant & Rave, March 5): It’s not just Obama’s fault, it’s other countries’ too, because they didn’t have the good sense to let Russia win some games since they were hosting the Olympics. We wouldn’t let Hitler win when he hosted the Olympics, and look what happened. Should have learned our lesson.

At the present time, America appears to be more of a demon-ocracy and not a democracy.

West Columbians? In strip bars? Taking things in hands? Those are things that make you say, ”Hmmm.”

Yo! Give me a call, baby!

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