Rant & Rave

Discussing a Strip Club

Plus: Do Some Arithmetic

By Free Times Readers
Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Note to Richland County Councilman Seth Rose: When discussing a strip club (News, “Heartbreakers Strip Club Will Close March 5,” Feb. 12), find better wording than, ”This is huge and I am very excited.”

There is a God. There is a God. Heartbreakers is closing on Broad River Road (News, “Heartbreakers Strip Club Will Close March 5,” Feb. 12). You need to get these places out of where civilization is, because they’re just a magnet for drug dealers and criminals. People who live a regular life and have a real job really don’t want to go there. They need to put these things way, way out in the country — sort of like where they’re proposing to put this homeless shelter.

Yeah, this is a rant to the Turnipseeds, who seem to have popped up out of the ground again, helping the homeless — a noble cause (News, “Homeless Feeding Crackdown,” Feb. 12). But maybe Tom Turnipseed doesn’t need to contemplate taking legal action against the city because of these permits they’re requiring to feed people in the park. What he needs to do is get a restaurant license or a vendor license. And the health department needs to get down there and see exactly what kind of food they’re handing out, and if it’s not proper they need to hand out some citations to the Turnipseeds. I’m sure Tom Turnipseed knows about liability.

I like how Free Times comes out on Wednesdays. Hump Day! Hump Day!

People of South Carolina, please learn how to tip.  Servers make $2.13 an hour, so are counting on you to tip 15 percent to 18 percent. Simple math, really! On a $40 check, move the decimal left one place: $4 is 10 percent, $8 is 20 percent, $6 is 15 percent.  That $2.13 an hour includes washing walls, sweeping floors, rolling silverware, cleaning furniture and other chores.  Slave labor, really!  Tell your server everything you want at once, don’t run them to death. Can’t help you on wait times either; busy is busy and we don’t cook it. Can’t afford to tip, go through a drive-thru or stay home! 

[Several years] ago, there was an accident where a rig transporting a truckload of live chickens turned over, spilling hundreds of birds and carcasses all over the highway (Rant & Rave, Feb. 12). Feathers from that accident are still there and mostly visible when the grass on the road shoulder is cut, or when winds from passing vehicles reveal them.

[Friday] night I was couch potato-ing and felt a rather large flatulence bomb about to escape from its lair. I held my position and let it rumble down through the cushion like an atomic tuba growling at a thunderstorm. The dog awoke with a fright from his nap on the rug and ran toward the hallway and into his crate. Later, I find out that the U.S. Geological Survey is reporting a 4.1 earthquake near Edgefield. I want y’all to know they’re just making that stuff up. 

Regarding last week’s rant about Columbia hosting the winter Olympics (Rant & Rave, Feb. 12): After last week’s weather, maybe it can.

This is a rave to the unbelievable beauty who accepted my assistance with boxing up her gift for her sister in Texas at the Forest Acres Trenholm Plaza Post Office. Sadly, Cupid hit my heart and this took away any speaking skills I might have. Knowing I would be eating my Whitman’s sampler all by myself this Valentine’s Day, you made my day with your smile and allowing me to help you.

Yeah, this is the six-foot-five, 300-pound guy again. Apparently the guy or woman who sent this rant must work for SCE&G (Rant & Rave, Feb. 12). No, I’m not scared when it’s 20 degrees out, because I’m a big strong guy with an axe and I’ve got a fireplace. I’d probably rather live that way, but by law you have to have electricity in South Carolina. And I feel that SCE&G rips us off.

I have a fear of living in this culture.

Someone from Seattle is complaining about the small-minded rantings of South Carolinians (Rant & Rave, Feb. 12)? Are you f#!king kidding me? The sheer level of vitriol spewed forth on a daily basis from the comment forums of Seattle’s free city paper, The Stranger, makes the weekly offerings of Rant & Rave look like well-wishes from your sweet old granny. Give me a break.  And go back to Seattle. I guarantee you’ll be missing the itchy balls guy after one week of constant self-important hipster whining.

Thanks to the morbidly obese CPD officer who passed a stranded motorist at about 12:45 last Wednesday afternoon at the intersection of Huger and Gervais. Lucky for her some good Samaritans jumped in and got her car out of the ice. 

Double kudos to the people in North Carolina who are fighting the Republicans and their so-called voting rights act. Looks like nobody in South Carolina’s got the balls to do that.

I like the part of the concealed weapons [law] where the restaurant owner can ask the person with a gun to leave. Yeah, right.

Uh, with Main Street the way it is, why don’t city leaders just give up?

Yeah, what’s the matter with white people? It’s gotten to the point that I don’t enjoy being in their company anymore.

Poor little fellow: Gov. Haley’s brother has to be stranded along with everybody else on the Georgia interstate. Wouldn’t it be interesting how and why that story was generated, and why The State newspaper even considered it newsworthy? Maybe next winter he’ll stub his toe. Can’t wait for that copy.

This is a rant to all the medical professionals and legislators in South Carolina who have anything to do with the birth monopoly. Leave our skilled midwives alone and keep your filthy hands off of our birth centers. Women have been pushing infants out of their vaginas without hospitals and OBGYNs since Adam and Eve and the earliest days of the cave man. I am so appalled at the medical establishment’s policies and procedures. Women in South Carolina want the freedom to give birth in their own home with a midwife.

It’s time to give up on the minor league baseball park. We already have a deteriorating relationship between the citizens of Columbia and the City Council.

How the hell is a 8,500-seat ball park going to employ 12,600 people? It just doesn’t make bloody sense at all, does it? I mean, there’s one-and-a-half people to every spectator. The mayor really needs to do some arithmetic and get some ideas about funding for the stadium.

Hello? Are you there? A rant to the State newspaper for charging for a 13-week subscription and only giving credit for 12. Maybe it’s time for an investigation.

After this winter mess, the U.S. Postal Service has a new motto: We deliver mail, unless there’s rain, sleet or snow.

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