‘Dem Cowboys!: When committing a crime, it’s generally a good idea not to have anything with you that might help the cops identify you later. A man went into a home improvement store in the northeast Columbia area and approached the counter with a soda. (This should have already been a red flag, because no one goes to a home improvement store without at least picking up some light bulbs, screws or a 20-pound bag of mulch.) As the clerk was ringing the guy up, the suspect pulled out a gun and robbed the place. The suspect was recorded on a security camera wearing a black shirt, khaki pants and … a Dallas Cowboys scarf. Hey, maybe the guy will be found driving an SUV with Cowboys flags and a huge star painted on the window. So far, though, he hasn’t been nabbed.
Poppin’ Bottles: A 19-year-old man broke into a home in Lexington, but the homeowner contacted the cops about the break-in before the suspect could get away. When cops approached the suspect, he fled and dropped some bottles in the process. The suspect didn’t get too far, though; he probably left a boozed-filled trail, making the cops’ job easier. The suspect was arrested and charged with several area break-ins.
Runaway: A 30-year-old man spent a day that sounds like it was taken straight out of Grand Theft Auto. The suspect was speeding in north Columbia and almost ran a deputy off the road, which led to the officer attempting to pull the suspect over. The suspect failed to stop for the blue lights, but was eventually arrested outside of an apartment complex. Cops took the suspect to jail, but he pulled some kind of Houdini act and escaped, briefly — cops nabbed him before he got 200 yards away. The man was re-arrested and faces a lot more charges than he would have if he’d just pulled over the first time around.
Pack of Smokes: Two unknown suspects went YOLO for some smokes, smashing the door of a grocery store to steal some. Once inside the store, the suspects — one wearing a blue hoodie and another wearing a red one (where was the third guy with the white one?) — stole nearly $1,000 worth of cigarettes. No arrests have been made.
Run Away: A man walked into a Forest Acres bank wearing a wife-beater and tried to cash a stolen check. The teller at the facility told the suspect that it was stolen, and the suspect ran away. The suspect’s feeble attempt serves as evidence that the Joker’s comments in The Dark Knight — about a city needing a better type of criminal — might well be the case in Columbia. No arrests have been made, but if he does get arrested we anticipate that he won’t be allowed to post bail by check.
Tip of the Week: We’ve told you this tip before, but it bears repeating. If you’ve got a meth lab at your house, you might not want to do anything that draws cops to your house. A 44-year-old man was having a loud argument with his wife, a domestic disturbance that prompted someone to call the cops. (Hey, maybe she was yelling at him for having a frickin’ meth lab in their house.) When the cops arrived, they found a bag that had all the items one would need for a meth lab. The suspect was arrested, proving once again that all would-be meth dudes need to revisit the entire Breaking Bad series. It’s on DVD and Netflix. No excuses.
12th Annual Swampfest
Enjoy Barbeque, Blues and Jazz on Friday, October 3rd followed by Swampfest at the Congaree on the 4th! Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 803-261-5596 for more info, tickets and vendor information.
Brew Pub Site Available
3520 Augusta Road, West Columbia. Click for more information.
Relaxation, Pain Management, and Stress Relief
Licensed massage therapist Allison Morris of AMR Massage offers 50% off your first session and every 5th session free of charge. Click here for location, hours, and more information.
We Practice After Hours Too!
Midlands Orthopedics clinics are open when young athletes need us most. Locations and hours can be found here.
SC State Fair Goes Pink
The Fair is going Pink this year to bring about awareness to breast Cancer.
SEARCH FREE TIMES
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Currently seeking a friendly & detail-oriented individual for an Administrative Assistant/Data Entry Clerk position on our Administrative Office team. Primary responsibilities include: Data entry, process incoming & outgoing mail, good communication skills required. Contact: email@example.com
Free Times is looking for a highly organized, detail-oriented self-starter to assist in gathering material from advertisers, coordinating between the sales and production departments, and handling routine clerical tasks. Must be proficient on a Mac, able to conduct business via phone, email, text, Dropbox, social media platforms and face to face while under deadline in a fast-paced, sometimes distracting work environment. The position requires the ability to multitask, excellent oral and written communication skills, and solid experience in quickly learning new computer programs. This is a full time position with benefits. Send a cover letter, resume and salary expectation to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Real Estate Spotlight
Mungo Homes. Celebrating 60 years of our family building for your family. mungo.com