Rant & Rave

Because You’re in the South

Plus: If You Ever Hit My Kid

By Free Times Readers
Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Views expressed are those of our readers, not us. Need to get something off your chest? Leave a message with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 100 words.

Concerning the use of the letter “O” in place of the number zero (Rant & Rave, June 4), kind of like Beverly Hills 90210 or Hawaii Five-0. Yeah, those are in the South.

OK, this is a rant to the person who says, why do people down South say the letter “O” for the number zero— that’s because you’re in the South, bitch. People from other parts of the country talk f#!ked up, too.

This is a rant to Free Times. I don’t know why we have so [many] problems with our staple machine. Maybe the readers should take up money and buy you a new one. I picked up Free Times today, got it home, opened it up and one of the staples fell out in my lap. Let’s get something done to help these poor motherf#!kers out.

Do all thugs have Gmail? 

My doctor sent my kidney stone to Florida for testing. I said, “Can I go, too?”

I would like Leon Lott and James Metts to explain to me why the same crack houses and the same people who sell crack are on the street all the time.

I want to give a big shout out to the Columbia comedy scene. You guys have given me something fun to do on Friday nights again, before I go dancing. A special shout to the ringleader, Jenn Snyder, and her pack of men; Topher Riddle, Joe Coughlin and Wayne Cousins. These guys are hilarious and have definitely brought the funny to Columbia. Go check them out at the Red Door on Friday nights. There is also an open mic at Red Door on Mondays if any of you think you may be funny.

Does the news not show the direction in which our country is headed when the NBA gets top priority over veterans in the news? Veteran means somebody who put their life on the line so we can have freedom. NBA, nothing but a#!holes. Thank you.

This is a rant to all the fast driving people through the suburbs of Columbia, the neighborhoods, if you ever hit my kid, you won’t have to worry about the police, you’ll have to worry about the coroner and I’ll have to worry about the police.

Under-boob is just as hot as side boob. Know what I mean?

In Henry McMaster’s campaign commercial on TV, he says, “These two Carolina boys are ready to fight.” Doesn’t he have his arm around the neck of a Georgia bulldog? Just saying.

We’re always hearing about Clowney, the first round pick, which we’re very proud of him. George Rogers [was] also first round. Why is it never brought up about [defensive back] Rick Sanford being the first player period to be picked in the first round out of South Carolina [in 1979, by the Patriots]? Nobody ever talks about Rick Sanford’s great career at South Carolina. Very first player from South Carolina to go in the first round, period. Thank you very much.

USC lost to Maryland in baseball. I didn’t know a turtle was meaner than a gamecock. Yeah.

I just read in Free Times where SCE&G is asking for another rate increase. It won’t be much longer before my electric bill will be higher than my mortgage. What am I going to do then? Lease my house from SCE&G? Come on [Public Service Commission], don’t allow this to happen to us.
SCE&G is trying to make me a homeless person.

My son is coming back home from England. I have to make sure he drives on the right side of the road. Yeah.

I’d like to agree with the statements about Amazon. All they have to do is get some cotton and it would be a plantation.

It’s sad how people in Five Points can’t take a compliment, and how they would always like to do things like rob others. And it just makes me feel bad.

To the landlord who owns most of the homes in our neighborhood: You rent to the scum of the earth. You have personally destroyed our neighborhood.

When people need information, don’t put some dumb robot on the phone. Put a human on the phone.

Today I want to address the problem of pedestrians jaywalking. These pedestrians are only about 50 feet from a crosswalk with stoplights, yet they feel the need to cross in the middle of the block. Sometimes they cross just as your car is coming down the street toward them. They also will weave their way through cars lined up at a stoplight. This has been another public message from the whiner guy.

I’m calling to say about Nikki Haley, I feel she has her hands in too many things that aren’t really for the people. I feel that this education thing, she’s really doing it for the votes to be re-elected. We really need a new leader. Thank you and have a blessed day.

Pray for the governor, Nikki Haley, because she doesn’t care about South Carolina. She cares about herself and her campaign.

This is a rave. Thank you so very much for your political reporting on the candidates. Porter Barron, Dan Cook and Eva Moore, thank you so very much.

Hey, this is the high guy with another random thought of the day: Squirrels were born to perform in the circus. They are natural thrill seekers. Look at how they dart in front of your car or watch them cross a power line. The circus: Less elephants, more squirrels.

Shouldn’t white people be minority and blacks and immigrants be the majority? They need to change that, because whites aren’t the majority. We’re the majority.

I agree with the person last week who doesn’t like Diet Cherry 7-Up (Rant & Rave, June 4). It tastes like horse piss.

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