I am so tired of people thinking that just because I am Russian, I have five consecutively smaller people inside of me. Knock it off, guys.
Is Papa John’s related to Jimmy John’s? Hmm.
I wanted to go to the State Fair, but they don’t let you carry marijuana or wear camouflage pants. They lost some customers.
Dear South Carolina State Fair competitive exhibit judges: I question your eye for photography when you allow six photos of the Gervais Street Bridge into your exhibit. This happens yearly. How many photos do we need of the same effing bridge?!
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better article than Tug Baker (Tug. Eats. Everything., Oct. 16).
You know, it was great to turn on the TV and see a South Carolina man doing yard work on the National Mall. You know why? Because in South Carolina, we do care.
I’m putting out a $20 reward for information leading to the recovery of my wife.
I can’t decide which is more appalling: (1) With three years and unlimited resources, Obama can’t get a website to work, but he wants us to believe he knows how to run the entire health care system, or (2) There are actually suckers stupid enough to fall for it.
With the latest shooting in Five Points, isn’t it time to close Five Points?
Five Points’ college kids are an easy target and I’m sure underage drinking tickets bring you some easy money, but if that’s the worst these kids are doing, how many of them have to be hurt, shot or robbed before you realize the REAL issues? Is Columbia going to be the new Compton or the next site of an American massacre because you’re too scared to pursue real crimes? Do your jobs and stop enabling tragedies.
It occurs to me that there was a time when the gang bangers didn’t hang out in Five Points simply because the coeds wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Progress, tolerance, acceptance — isn’t it great?
This chap that [allegedly] shot the girl in Five Points has a fairly easy way to get out of the whole thing. All he has to do is hire Todd Rutherford as his defense attorney and say he was just standing his ground because he was alarmed by something.
I want to give a big THANK YOU to the incredibly drunk guy at the Toro Y Moi show at the Columbia Art Museum the other night. You entertained me with your excessive dancing and slurred words while I was super bored! You were AMAZING, making me laugh through the entire show while throwing back vodka tonics all night. Loved it. P.S.: You might need to seek professional help.
Good to see Dracula: Ballet with a Bite return again this year. It’s the only thing in Columbia worth getting out of my crypt for.
Columbia officials still don’t know how to make a Main Street. Why don’t they just drive to Greenville and look at theirs?
Great pictures of the library in Richland County (Cover Story, Oct. 16), but you forgot to take pictures of all the grody homeless people sitting at the tables.
Stating certain homeless individuals are not a problem at Richland Library is not only false, it’s disrespectful to the staff that are exposed to their inappropriate and lewd behavior almost every day (Cover Story, Oct. 16). For example, if someone says a sexual remark to a staff member and they inform security and that individual is asked to leave, but is welcomed back the very next day ... do you think that staff member feels comfortable now? Let’s face the facts here, Melanie, rather than expect the citizens of Columbia to turn a blind eye to this problem because you say so.
Is the shutdown of the federal government an act of terrorism or treason? Just wondering.
This is a rant about the fact that I’ve visited your lovely burg multiple times over the past couple months, and had a lot of fun. I sent in a couple raves about things like hitchhiking, waitresses’ birthdays and critter-saving that you didn’t find fit to print. I was OK with that, I guess. However, this rave I sent in about the marvelous Three Rivers Greenway should’ve made the cut! C’mon, Free Times! Free this rave!
This is a rave for the folks who operate and maintain the Three Rivers Greenway in Columbia. It is truly one of the jewels of the Capital City ... I had the very best walk of my life down there earlier this month with quite the beautiful blonde mesmerizing enchantress! Unforgettable.
To the blonde, curly-headed bartender from Lucky’s: You are the coolest!
OMG! How can this be?! My neighbor is a carpenter of renown. Why does the State of South Carolina tell me that I cannot buy a beautifully crafted casket from her (My Turn, Oct. 16)? How dare you, South Carolina?!
This is to the head alien (Rant & Rave, Oct. 16): Yes, you did leave many morons behind. I know a few you could pick up.
To the Head Alien (Rant & Rave, Oct. 2): This is Master Chief again. We found that if you pour water on the morons, they multiply. I fear that the coming precipitation will be too much for us to handle. We have tried keeping the morons inside as suggested by section gamma alpha nu tau, but there are too many to keep indoors. Requesting reinforcements.
When you mess up, ‘fess up. Don’t try to be better than everyone else. You’ll feel better about it in the morning.
If the preacher preaches what God says to preach, people would get mad and [the church would] lose money. If the preacher preaches to make people happy, God would get mad. It’s a no-win situation.
You’ve got something in this issue that says we’re all going to have to answer to God for our own deeds (Rant & Rave, Oct. 16). I’m not going to answer to some imaginary father figure who lives in the sky. God’s not real. You only think that he is because you’re afraid to die.
Let’s put this one to roost. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The rooster came first.
The Other Place at Trustus Theatre
Juliana Smithton is a successful neurologist whose life seems to be coming unhinged. A mystery unfolds as fact blurs with fiction, past collides with present and the elusive truth of Juliana’s mental health boils to the surface in The Other Place, running at Trustus Theatre October 17th through November 1st. There will be a talk-back following the matinee on October 19th. Tickets can be purchased here or by calling the box office at 803-254-9732.
Bluegrass, Bidding, and BBQ
Join The Palladium Society Thursday, October 23rd from 7-10 p.m. for its 11th annual silent auction, featuring music by The Mustache Brothers and catering by Bourbon and The Oak Table. Tickets are $30 at the door and include admission, drinks, and food. Get yours online now!
Four Miles, Twelve Doughnuts
Winston’s Wish aims to increase knowledge and understanding of children with autism, and you can help by participating in the 4.donut Race on October 25th. Start at Edventure Children’s Museum, run 2 miles to Krispy Kreme, eat 12 doughnuts, and run back! Registration is required and can be done here before October 23rd at 5 p.m.
3LAU on Sunday, October 26th and the Unofficial Skrillex Mothership Tour After-Party on the 27th. More information and tickets for both can be found here. VIP tables available.
King Lear in Finlay Park
October 16th-18th and 22nd-25th, the South Carolina Shakespeare Company presents William Shakespeare’s King Lear. All performances held at the Finlay Park Ampitheatre at 7:30 PM. For tickets and more information, click here or call 803-665-2000.
SEARCH FREE TIMES
Currently seeking a friendly & detail-oriented individual for an Administrative Assistant/Data Entry Clerk position on our Administrative Office team. Primary responsibilities include: Data entry, process incoming & outgoing mail, good communication skills required. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Cupcake now hiring a closing manager. Must be outgoing, customer service focused, able to work evenings and weekends. Apply in person. 1213 Lincoln Street, Columbia SC 29201. freshcupcakes.com
Local business is searching for new associates who are looking for a fun environment to earn great wages. Great position for college students/recent graduates. Must be well-mannered with excellent customer service skills/work ethic/ability to lift heavy items/must have valid Driver’s License. Call 803-376-4884 or email resume: email@example.com.
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Real Estate Spotlight
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