Rant & Rave

Who’s to Say the Dog is Wrong?

Plus: Hey, Sheet Heads

By Free Times
Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I want to know: Does anyone else like to meow at the telemarketers?

Hey this is crazy, but why don’t we fully fund education and let the prisoners collect box tops and have bake sales? But that’s just stupid.

Still convinced that Georgia is “overrated” in the major polls (Side Line, Sept. 4)? What’s that mean for the Gamecocks, who got their butts kicked by the Bulldogs on Saturday? Would you like some horseradish or mayo to go with your crow?

Hey, sheet heads: Thanks for throwing your KKK solicitation trash in my driveway and neighborhood! Your presence is not welcome or needed in Chapin. Now come back and pick your trash up.

Not only were the actions of the police department in Irmo barbaric, illegal and inhumane, they were also completely asinine because if a dog is in his own yard and a stranger approaches, who’s to say the dog is wrong for approaching the stranger that’s in the dog’s own yard? If the dog pulled out a gun and shot the officer, would the dog be wrong?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

This is to the loser who led off last week’s Rant & Rave by saying that he/she was about to move from Columbia and wouldn’t miss us (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4). You have to be pretty messed up to admit you can’t find anything to like about this great town. Buy yourself a used U-Haul trailer, because you’re gonna be moving a lot. I give you six months in your new locale before you start bitching about it, too. Obviously, YOU are the problem, not where you live. Columbia and Free Times both ROCK!

For the guy who called it as he saw it (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4).  If I could afford to leave C-O-L-O-N town, I’d leave too. An enema wouldn’t fix what has been broken for years here.

Imagine this bunch of lard asses naked (Rant & Rave, Aug. 21 and Aug. 28)? Count me out.

To the jerk complaining about the jerk complaining about the stick figure family decals (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4): Personally, I wish the guy luck finding his own happiness. You, on the other hand — you who wants him to rot in his loneliness — you should probably not marry or reproduce or own pets. 

Sorry, stick figure family decals are dumb (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4). No one cares about how many kids you have or what sex they might be, except for the occasional creepy pedophile driving behind you or around your neighborhood. Have fun thinking that buying crappy stickers for your car somehow translates into love and/or pride for your children, though.

All the guys at work think I’m strange because my favorite TV show is Glee.

Thought about maybe separating the homeless between the ones that want to work and the ones that don’t want to work? I think there’s a big difference between the two. Just a suggestion.

Why are so many folks upset over Cameron Runyan’s ever-changing plans? It’s not as if he plans to open a Treblinka with “Arbeit macht frei” chiseled over the entrance, nor he is proposing to re-create the Warsaw ghetto. C’mon, give the guy a break.

People want the strong mayor system, but why don’t we just keep the one we have? The weak mayor system. Yeah.

If all you youngsters — because I don’t think anybody in there is over 25 that I saw — if y’all want to know the story about Jesus Christ and God and the Holy Spirit, why don’t you just call me and I’ll come up there and explain it to you in about five minutes? See if you’ve got that much vision. My number is ___________. Does anybody really want to know God? That’s the question. Does anybody really want to know?

Dear USC students: Please remove headphones when crossing the street. Especially if you’re not going to heed the great orange hand that means “do not cross”. To the boy that almost met the front end of a Lexus, I can only imagine how wet your pants were after that close call. Only Clowney can stop a Lexus going 35.

This is a rant and a rave to Fox 102.3 in Columbia. Why don’t you have a live DJ from 7 ‘til midnight? The generic programming you’ve got is like listening to an old CD. I know what’s going to come next. You need somebody to play something other than title cuts from these albums. Come on. Put Beard back on.

I’m so old I remember when National Geographic had centerfolds.

I wanted to leave a message about the comics section for Aug. 28. I felt that was very disrespectful and very childish about the Trayvon Martin thing. Y’all are trying to be funny about it, but it’s not really funny. I didn’t like it, and I think it’s wrong. Thank you.

This rave is for the three hot guys that work at Le Chic Hair Studio, especially the young one that colors his hair and changes it up every week.

The guy that doesn’t know diddly about history, but loves Italians (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4) evidently doesn’t know diddly about the origins of spaghetti and pizza either! Neither one originated from Italy. Spaghetti AND ravioli come from China like most everything else. The oldest bowl of spaghetti that was discovered in China dates back 4,000 years and pizza originated in the Middle East. Pizza as WE know it originated in Italy! Mamma mia! Next time get your facts straight! 

Why do we feel so special when we are just a speck of dust in the grand scheme of the universe? We are nothing. We are inconsequential.

To the person who wrote “dark and terrible universe” (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4): You made my day as you put to words what I’ve been thinking all along about C-O-L-O-N town. 

To the ranter who says ranters’ complaints are meaningless (Rant & Rave, Sept. 4): Doesn’t that make your rant meaningless, too? And why are you spending your time ranting about meaningless rants? Or even reading meaningless rants? Looking for meaning in the big, bad universe maybe?

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