Want to reply to a rant? Email rantandrave@free-times.com or call 765-0707 ext 126. Free Times does not publish rant replies online.
 

Yeah, to the chick who is whining about us men having to spit (Feb. 3). That’s what we do: We spit, we burp, we fart. That’s what men do. Let me ask you a question: Why do you women have to spend hundreds of dollars to get your hair done? You know how much beer I could get with the money you spend to get your hair done?
 

This is to the complaint about men spitting on the ground and asking why men have to do that (Feb. 3). We do it, honey, so women like you will have something more to bitch about. As if you don’t do it enough already.
 

This is rant is for the guy ranting about the guy ranting about Jimmy Buffett (Feb. 3). Like him or not, I think we all can agree that we’d prefer to see a nubile young girl in her underwear instead of an older, overweight man.
 

Since when was Jimmy Buffett considered good music (Feb. 3)? From what I’ve seen, you have to be wasted to enjoy him, which is fitting because most of his fans are alcoholics.
 

This is to the dumbass who wrote about the fortune cookie (Feb. 3). Why didn’t you get another fortune cookie? The doggone things are free. And you want to know about sex and money? Buy a porno or work more hours at work, dumb idiot.
 

This rave is to the fine brown-skinned brother with the light beige jacket who works at              . You come in here to the cafeteria looking all so handsome and you don’t sit with any women. And every time I look at you I just want to tell you that you are so sexy and if I ever see you in the elevator you will know about it.
 

Hi, I am the state employee that complained about sitting across from the guy that only works four hours out of a 7.5-hour day and disappears for the rest (Feb. 3). Check this s#!t out: They got the nerve to consider him for a supervisor position and [are] thinking about making his supervisor a higher position. Now if that ain’t some s#!t, I don’t know what is.
 

Hi, I know the state employee that the other state employee was talking about (Feb. 3). It’s true. He sits in front of me and he doesn’t do anything. He’s gone for most of the day and when he is at his desk, he’s on the phone talking. I sure wish I had his connections. He’s really got the hook-up.
 

This is a rant for the guy complaining about his co-worker working only a few hours out of the day (Feb. 3). Dude, it’s a state job, that’s par for the course.
 

To the lady who called about the state employee (Feb. 3): I just want to say don’t hate because my cousin is my supervisor. She looks out for me and I can disappear when I want to. And her boss is my father’s friend, so I just want to say, hey, to those who got it like that let’s keep it like that.
 

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover something: We have a bad unemployment rate in South Carolina and poor education. When I was coming along we didn’t have a computer. I’ve had to learn to use one in later life. Poor people don’t have one. Let’s all do something, recycle computers or something to people in need.
 

I heard that the Monopoly board game is going to add a new square: SCE&G.
 

To all you bleeding hearts who support Haiti: Where were you when New Orleans needed help? Just sayin’.
 

This is to the guy asking Andre Bauer to pay his fair share (Feb. 3). Who is going to pay for these people’s fair share in the generations after that? They do keep breeding, and you’re just encouraging stupidity. Quit breeding, get a job, get off your ass and do something.

Why isn’t there a Waffle House in Five Points?
 

This is a rant to the people who are too stupid to realize that entities like Fox News and MSNBC are 95 percent entertainment and five percent journalism. If you’re just too lazy or ignorant to differentiate fact from opinion — or understand that the Olbermans, Becks and O’Reillys of the world are entertainers way before they’re journalists — you should be stripped of your voting rights.
 

There’s a lady in Columbia running for mayor who’s named Sparkle Clark. Isn’t that the name of a paper towel?
 

Restaurants often place items on their menus that are not available when the customer requests them. Restaurants should not place these items on their menus or should at least warn customers with remarks in parentheses that state “when available” or “seasonal.” Customers will therefore not be disappointed. Do you understand the rant and is it suitable for Free Times?
 

Come on Free Times ... this is the third time I have sent this. PLEASE PRINT THE FOLLOWING!!!!! Hey Batman, it’s Robin ... Please get the Batphone and call me!! The headhunter will not know as long as we use the Batphone. Don’t be a DBAG and call me. You won’t be sorry. :)
 

Hey this is the sexy girl with the Levi jeans (Jan. 27). You totally made my week. I’m so happy to finally get some recognition for the work I go through every day to fit my butt in those jeans. You should consider starting a fan club for me, but in the meantime I would really like to know who you are!
 

I was just reading the latest issue (Feb. 3) and I can’t find the regional concert calendar. I want to know who’s playing in Charlotte and Charleston. WTF?
 

To my darling mother who wants me to take my precious time off to go file her taxes at the library. Don’t you know I gotta work on things all week? Just because I love you I’m going to help you out, but I do want you to take me to Red Lobster.
 

This is a rant to all the rinky-dink towns in Lexington County, Pine Ridge and South Congaree being two of them, that have to waste all this money to put up this signs that say “Welcome to Pine Ridge,” “Welcome to South Congaree.” The problem is the signs are so much more beautiful than the towns themselves. Maybe they should focus their efforts on improving something else in their towns.
 

This is a rave to the two girls I hooked up with last night: You’re welcome.