I took particular pleasure in the final shot on my last racquetball match with my 30-something son — roughly half my age. I buried the ball in the front
corner to win the game by one point.
The kill shot proved that, at least occasionally, being old, slow and sneaky can sometimes beat being young, fast and strong.
I think John D. Spurrier of Irmo would agree with that observation, considering the subject of his new book: Am I Too Old to Play? Comic Views of Sports and Aging.
It’s a very funny book. That might surprise some readers, because Spurrier is a retired professor of statistics at the University of South Carolina. Statisticians as a group aren’t usually known for laugh-a-minute repartee.
In this case, Spurrier is also not only an aging athlete himself, but also an occasional stand-up comic. So he borrowed the approach of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s tests to see if members of the audience are rednecks.
Spurrier’s book offers 90 tests on age and sports ability, and the one-liners are accompanied by rudimentary sketches (also by Spurrier).
Some of the tests are from his days playing softball and basketball for Ashland United Methodist Church teams into his 60s. (His biography notes, “He loved competing and being part of the team. In his mind, he was still 17 and ran like the wind. Some of his body parts disagreed, particularly the next day.”)
One of the tests is, “If your latest recruiting letter came from an assisted living facility, you might be too old to play.” Spurrier notes ruefully that that particular test “is sadly a true story.”
He provides a helpful — or maybe disturbing — scoring system for the 90-point test so readers can “rate themselves on the wisdom of continuing to play or to rather watch the games on television with 9-1-1 on speed dial.”
This month Free Times is helping to mark the annual One Book, One Columbia program by carrying observations from the Richland Library’s reader advocates about favorite books or authors. This year’s book is Pat Conroy’s My Reading Life. Conroy will speak and sign books at a free program at Township Auditorium on Feb. 27.
Reggie Pennington: “I would select Vince Flynn as my favorite author. Vince has that rare gift of incorporating detailed, technical information within a story line that will envelop the reader into hours of intrigue and suspense. He will be missed.”
Betty Kornegay: “It’s always a pleasure to read a book that can not only entertain but also inspire, as did Broken Shells by Deena Bouknight. Deena captures the conflicted emotions and attitudes that the prejudices of my generation struggled to sort out. She tells of two Southern females, one white and one black, and a deep friendship where life’s ultimate gifts are exchanged and shared.”
Mary Waller: “In her novel Broken Shells, Deena Bouknight creatively weaves together the parallel stories of two main characters. She sensitively touches upon real life issues that many face yet are reluctant to discuss openly or honestly. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, with eager anticipation of how the story would unfold in each chapter.”
A Healthy Happy Hour
4-7 p.m at Good Life Cafe on Main St. Try our $4 local draft beers, $4 organic wine, 1/2 off select bottles of house wine and $5 handcrafted house cocktails with juices cold pressed and made daily. Click here for more info.
New Downtown Dessert and Coffee Bar!
Tony’s Italian Eatery has teamed up with Southern Charm Sweets to bring you the highest quality dessert selection in the downtown area. 1120 Washington St., Suite 2. Find us on Facebook!
Happy Hour and Sushi Specials All Week
Red Bowl in Lexington now has great early bird and late night sushi specials 7 days a week, as well as 99-cent kids meals on Saturdays! Click here for special information and hours.
Relaxation, Pain Management, and Stress Relief
Licensed massage therapist Allison Morris of AMR Massage is offering 50% off your first session and every 5th session free of charge. Click here for location, hours, and more information.
Tax-Free Weekend at Best Mattress
With big savings from July 31st-August 2nd, you can afford handcrafted quality. Free bed frame and pillows on any Full, Queen, or King set $599 and above! Click for locations and hours.
Columbia’s Largest Sidewalk Sale
Shop local this tax free weekend! Devine Street and Five Points are teaming up for a massive sidewalk sale featuring great in-store specials from all your favorite retailers and a Saturday art stroll. Read more hereand here!
SEARCH FREE TIMES
Local restaurants serving locally grown food during Palmetto Tasty Tomato Restaurant Feast, July 11-18:
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Real Estate Spotlight
Concord Park From the $150’s. Off 12th St. Extension. 803.419.2227. mungo.com
Click here for more real estate.
GABLE HILL APARTMENTS 1, 2 & 3 BR’s available with many amenities. Surround yourself with Southern comforts at Gable Hill Apartments! Bring in our ad in Free Times for $50 off your application fee. 310 Ross Rd, Columbia, SC. Click here for more info.
ST. ANDREWS COMMONS APARTMENTS 1 & 2 BR’s available with many amenities. Close to everywhere YOU WANT TO BE! 1200 St. Andrews Rd., Columbia, SC. Click here for more info.
WATERFORD APARTMENTS 1 & 2 BR’s available with many amenities. Prime location, and plenty of space. Live large at Waterford Apartments. Bring in our ad in Free Times for $50 off your application fee. 1340 Longcreek Dr., Columbia, SC. Click here for more info.
Donate Plasma Today & Be Somebody’s Hero For Life. You could earn up to $400 a month! Program and fees vary per location. Contact your local center today. 803-736-5888. Click here for more info