“I look at the Confederate flag,” goes one of Dave Stone’s stand-up bits, “and I see two things: crystal meth and sloppy Joes.” Given the Confederate naval jack still flies on the north side of the State House grounds, you might hear Stone, a semifinalist in 2012’s Next Big Comic comedy competition on CMT, riff on it tonight at Conundrum Music Hall; he headlines a stand-up bill that also features Caleb Synan, Jenn Snyder and Wayne Cousins. (You might recognize Stone’s voice if you’ve ever watched Adult Swim’s Squidbillies; Stone voices Brock Bell.) The laughs start at 8 p.m.; admission is $7. Call 250-1295 or visit conundrum.us for more information.
Local multidisciplinary artist Michaela Pilar Brown’s work is featured in the 701 Center for Contemporary Art Biennial, which hangs at the Olympia art space through Sunday. As a companion to her work in the exhibition, Brown performs bittersalt bittersweet at 7 p.m.; Brown will be using her body as a vehicle, pushing beyond physical and mental limits and trust and exploring the relationship of black women’s bodies to American culture.
Christmas, country-style: Wynnona Judd and her Big Noise backing band sing country hits and Christmas classics at 8 p.m. at the Newberry Opera House. Tickets are $125. Visit newberryoperahouse.com for more information.
Bruce Dern is receiving rave reviews for his performance in Nebraska, which opens today at the Nickelodeon Theatre; in the film, Dern plays an aging, booze-addled retiree who wrangles his estranged sad-sack son, played by Will Forte, into a road trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim a million-dollar Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize — a prize he of course hasn’t really won. Dern received Best Actor awards from the Cannes Film Festival, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the National Board of Review, and nominations from the Golden Globes, the Independent Spirit Awards, and the Screen Actors Guild Awards. Dern “is so convincing as an addled, drunken, embittered and probably dying man that he doesn’t appear to be acting,” writes Salon’s Andrew O’Hehr, “but Forte is just as good playing a preoccupied, emotionally constricted man-child.” The Nick screens the film at 3, 5:30 and 8:30 p.m.; it also screens modern-day Christmas classic Elf at 11 p.m. Call 254-3433 or visit nickelodeon.org for more information.
As the Christmas holiday approaches, your menu of available events narrows. Sure, there are some spectacular holiday light shows and plenty of seasonal concerts, but beyond that the calendar at this time of year gets just about as bare as the trees. Enter the South Carolina State Museum’s annual WinterFest, which opens today; WinterFest features movies, board games, scavenger hunts, crafts and more, and today features a special opening-day performance of Santa’s Christmas Party by the Columbia Marionette Theatre. Admission to all WinterFest activities — except for Monday’s Polar Express Party — is free with museum admission or membership. Call 898-4952 or visit scmuseum.org for more information.
It’s the Sunday before Christmas, and if you’re feeling like a humbug these holidays, know that there’s still plenty of time to turn that Yuletide frown upside down. Hey, it worked for Ebenezer Scrooge. It worked for George Bailey, too: The Nickelodeon Theatre screens Frank Capra’s Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life at 8 p.m. Eight Days has heard that every time you go see a movie at the Nick, an angel gets its wings. Or maybe Andy Smith gets some wings. I don’t know. Something like that. Tickets are $10. Remember no man is a failure who has friends: Call 254-3433 or visit nickelodeon.org for more information.
Today, reader, is Eight Days’ favorite non-denominational holiday celebrated by those frustrated and jaded by the commercialism and pressure surrounding the Christmas-Hanukkah-Kwanzaa season. Today is Festivus, which means feats of strength, the airing of grievances and plenty of festivus miracles. Remember: The Festivus Pole should be made from aluminum — due to its very high strength-to-weight ratio — and requires no decoration, as tinsel is distracting.
Then again, it is the Christmas season, and there’s no better way to get that final dose of pre-Christmas cheer than by tripping the light(s) fantastic! Columbia’s two premier holiday light shows are open today before shutting down for Christmas: The Riverbanks Zoo’s Lights Before Christmas walk-through display is open to the public from 5 to 9 p.m.; adult admission is $8, with kids’ admission running $6. Should you prefer to stay in your heated, comfortable car, Saluda Shoals Park’s Holiday Lights on the River is on display from 6 to 10 p.m.; admission is $10 per car. Call 779-8717 or 772-1228, respectively, for more information.
Today’s Christmas Eve, the last possible day to cram as much ho-ho-holiday spirit down your gullet as possible. Maybe some outdoor ice skating will boost your holiday spirits? Main Street Ice is open from 11 a.m. until 9 p.m.; admission is $8, which includes skate rental. We bet you’ll hear Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” at least once. Hey, that always cheers Eight Days up. Call 545-3100 for more information.
Happy Hour and Sushi Specials All Week
Red Bowl in Lexington now has great early bird and late night sushi specials 7 days a week, as well as 99-cent kids meals on Saturdays! Click here for special information and hours.
Accepting Applications for Shakespeare’s Kidz!
Students ages 10-16 are invited to join South Carolina Shakespeare’s new youth company, with classes running September 20th-December 11th followed by a final performance. Learn and hone audition skills, monologues, and scenes from Shakespeare and modern works! Contact Katie Mixon with questions about scholarships and applications: PKatieMixon@gmail.com.
Music Break at Music Farm Columbia
Join COR for an evening of networking for music and business leaders on September 3rd, featuring performances by Josh Roberts and the Hinges, Death of Paris, Fat Rat Da Czar, and Lazy A and the Green Thang. Free admission for musicians and members! Register here.
Make Your Own Beer and Wine!
Come get started on your “liquid hobby” and help us celebrate our 46th year in the Columbia area. Bet Mar Liquid Hobby Shop: 736 St. Andrews Road.
Back to School Tattoo Specials
Magnum Ink is offering 1/2 off all tattoos for students over 18 as well as 2 for $60 on letters or numbers for state employees. 1405 Rushmore Road, Suite B, right off of Broad River.
A two-day outdoor art and crafts show celebrating its 38th year. Being held on September 5 & 6, 2014, Click for details
SEARCH FREE TIMES
Company seeking carpenters, plumbers, masons work is year around with a 40 year old company. Starting pay is $10.00 but experienced individuals will be compensated accordingly. Must have a clean driving record and must bring a copy of your driving record to the interview. Please call 803-865-1200.
U.S. Security Associates
Now hiring immediately for armed and unarmed security officers. WE TRAIN YOU! Columbia & surrounding areas. ussecurityassociates.com
Pool Cleaning-Full and part time available. Must have a clean driving record, be organized and have a professional appearance. Starting Pay is $10.00 per hr, please call for an interview, please bring a copy of your Driving record and a list of all past employers with duration of employment listed as well as telephone numbers for references. Cal 803-865-1200
Real Estate Spotlight
Mungo Homes. Celebrating 60 years of our family building for your family. mungo.com